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News article for the week of 3/16/09.

Social Networking treading a dangerous path
By Grey Events

Since the early days of the Internet sexual predators preying on children has been a concern, with the rise of the social networking sites it has become even more problematic, so much so that popular sites such as MySpace, in conjunction with authorities and lawmakers, have taken to
outing known sex offenders to the authorities.
Naturally it cannot end there.
While no pattern exists yet the trend is developing for serial killers to hunt down appropriate targets, so it is only a matter of time before these sites are used to hunt these individuals down as well.
Not everyone is happy about the prospect of their favoured social network site being used as a branch of the police, especially as untold international boundaries are crossed in the process. However MySpace, Facebook, Twitter and Warm Apple Pie have all pledged to curb what they see as dangerous behaviours on their own sites.
In addition to blocking any 13 year old girl wanting to meet and play with other 13 year olds of either gender who turns out to be a 45 year old man who wants to play with 13 year olds of either gender most of these sites have banned lions, tigers and other carnivores lurking about pretending to be herbivores, luring gazelles, zebras, rabbits and other tasty vegetarians into meetings that obviously end badly.
Many have decried the loss of freedom and egalitarianism associated with these protective measures, claiming that education and common sense would be far more constructive in the long term. According to these people never going to meetings alone would be one intelligent move, so would wearing chastity belts and hardened metal collars around your neck.
Of course the majority to make these suggestions have been chastity belt manufacturers who have been hit hard by the decline in morals and economic standards and seem desperate to drum up some sort of business.
Naturally the 100 odd Predators, the spineyfaced, reptilian hunters of the eponymous movie series have cried racism over the whole matter, stating that not a one of them with a MySpace or Facebook account has yet used it to hunt down prey as it would be dishonourable and not nearly as satisfying as scaring the living snot out of them by chasing them around a jungle or city before poking them with something very, very pointy.
It is likely that this policy will be continued, despite the difficulty of policing the Internet, and as more laws are drawn up the net will close, despite the whining of NAMBLA, and hand wringing of the socially inept who see the electronic world as theirs and theirs alone, dreams that crumble under the reminder that outside forces have a hand in this realm too.
And yet for all this no one seems to mind the hypocrisy of continuing to allow herbivores like sheep, cows and rocks from pretending to be plants and luring vegetables into the exact same horrible situation they faced with lions and tigers.

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