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Last week's NewsNews article for the week of 3/16/08. Obama Faces Third Toughest Challenge
To Date Possessing an almost unassailable lead and a shiny gold star from elements of the Kennedy family that don’t suck Barak Obama looks set to become the first African-American presidential candidate, and if early polls are anything to go by, the first Black Elvis impersonator to take part in a televised debate as a Democrat. And maybe president too. And yet many hurdles remain in the way. Hilary Clinton’s belief that she can still win, mounting economic issues that could derail the inexperienced senator, the tendency for charismatic male politicians to become wrapped up in sex scandals, even the next Michael Moore documentary could prove to be the straw that breaks the camels back. Everyone is expecting the unexpected to rear its ugly head. And no one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Armed with all manner of torture devices such as racks, iron maidens, thumbscrews and Paris Hilton’s latest movie on wide screen bluray, not to mention the infamous comfy chair few believe that even Barak Obama will be able to survive the ministrations of this brutal Catholic order. Being melanin abundant Barak Obama has become the subject of Inquisition fears that a Moor may ascend to the highest of offices. As tragically behind the times as this may be the Spanish Inquisition has been flexing recently revitalised political powers, though many believe that this is a misguided case of overreaching. Some are not so sure, the recent rejuvenation of the Spanish Inquisition began with what was thought of as a foolish investigation into rumours that then British Prime Minister Tony Blair was in fact Jewish. Though thoroughly disproved when a member of the Inquisition rushed on stage during a publicity event and pulled down Tony Blair’s pants, or trousers as they are sometimes referred to, the subsequent clearing of Blair for conversion to the Catholic faith after his stint as Prime Minister gave the Inquisition a much needed boost of attention. These events lead to other prominent investigations of public officials, such as clearing Vladimir Putin of witchcraft with evidence that he is only a hobbyist broomstick rider, and the joint investigation with Mount Cedar-Sinai Hospital that explained how Hilary Clinton’s ability to spin her head 180 degrees and vomit a green pea soup like substance was little more than a Rodham family trait, a genetic quirk if you would. This time may be different though, after the Blair breakthrough there was some public support for investigating Putin and explaining Clinton, there is considerably less for the testing of Obama. Much is put down to this being a rehash of old events. Obama supporters and even Democrats at large are put out by the accusation that he is a Moor, likening it to the Internet rumour that Obama was a Muslim. That rumour cost Obama early support, and even his name still throws people but is seen as a sign of growing national maturity. As such the Spanish Inquisitions actions are being called a crass means of using the race card negatively. Nevertheless the Spanish Inquisition is pressing forward, believing that now is the time to rid the world of Satan’s evil, and if it means putting Barak Obama into the Comfy Chair then so be it. Although many members of the Spanish Inquisition have stated that he won’t be forced to watch the Paris Hilton movie, there have to be some limits. |
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