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Last week's NewsNews article for the week of 7/31/07. YouTube Political Takeover Inevitable...YouTube It may sound like something my, uh, colleague Grey Xphile comes up with but there are strong rumours that popular Internet video site YouTube may be plotting some sort of world take over. The groundbreaking transmission of the Democratic debate was hailed as proof positive of the power of the Internet in modern communications, and modern politics. So much so the latter that it has been suggested that past methods of democratic action may become obsolete within a generation. Already other nations are setting up to broadcast political debates over the Internet and make the footage available on YouTube for the entire world to see. Now rumour has it that YouTube has realised it has a tangible sort of power by censoring itself, only allowing those it accepts or allows to display their media. While this may seem far fetched, all it takes is one politician willing to tell all to bring the system down, it could conceivably work long enough for YouTube to seize control, or at least become a member of the shadowy cabal that decides our fate. Besides which with appropriate favour trading politicians would be able to block opponents by currying up to YouTube. There are those who dismiss these as simple rumours, a matter of innuendo spread by YouTube opponents, eager to do anything to topple the popular site and grab a market share. Sorely dividing opinion, ironically enough, is a YouTube video showing several members of YouTube’s board cackling maniacally. Not laughing, cackling. Rubbing their hands together, throwing their heads back and everything. On the one hand no one with serious domination ambitions could possibly let this out on their own site. On the other hand this could be the best piece of misdirection since Hitler pointed westward and said, “Look, there’s a bunny rabbit,” to direct attention away from Poland. Irrelevant of YouTube’s ambitions the mere possibility of such a takeover represents a previously unrealised possibility and a new method of accruing power. This of course heralds a remarkable new method of global domination. Gone are the days of jackbooted soldiers marching in lock-stepped columns. Now technology dictates who is in charge by virtue of letting individuals have the loudest voice on their media website. Gone are they days of scorched earth and the inhumane use of cats as terror weapons, for the age of Big Brother, Little Sister and Crazy Uncle (all mostly of the electronic form) are out of the basement and here to stay, certain to remember those of us operating in more conventional media kindly and treat us accordingly as more than simple plebs to be crushed into a fine powder and swept aside, even if we do not merit full membership within the elite, we will still serve humbly.
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