Last week's News

News article for the week of 4/19/06.

The Search for Atlantis VIII: I’m Working With Monkeys
By, Grey Exploration (Continued from episode VII)

One of the few things I had faith in recently was this team’s ability to handle a legal case.
Truthfully this is based more on the fact that our benefactor has more money than God and half as much as Bill Gates. The rest of the team is a bunch of nerds and geeks whose only strength for our battle against attourneyed up Morlocks is in giving evidence and generating sympathy for our side. After all, who can’t feel sorry for anyone who has to put up with a balding 37 year old man who lives with his parents and thinks giving a solo rendition of “The Cantina Scene” from Star Wars is giving evidence that the Morlocks have been in residence at the supposed Atlantis site for less than three hundred years.
That last point is very important, if we can prove it then we have the right to go in for historical research purposes.
However it turns out that we are being forced to rely on the Italian legal system. If you know anything about the current state of Italian politics it should give you a fairly good idea as to what the legal system is like.
Presently the fact that neither we nor the Morlocks have any Mafia contacts has worked for and against us. It means getting a willing judge to sit the case has been easier. However it also means that none of the best Italian lawyers will make a move until we’ve made an appropriate contribution to the local “business man’s collective”.
Fortunately the Morlocks are encountering the same problem, prompting some mutual sympathy. At least until certain elements of our party called them Klingons. Apparently it’s very impolite to refer to one previously believed fictional race as a presently believed fictional race.
That’s right, science fiction political correctness and all we have is nerds who are against it.
Perhaps we could have mitigated the insult if a member of our road crew, what I had previously considered the most sane and reasonable portion of our group, had not told the Morlocks to go back to “Canidia”, which was an implied racial taunt on top of what the geeks had said.
In fairness the Morlocks have hardly been easy to get along with. I’m sure that someone, on some level, somewhere, must have some sort of emotional reaction to having Captain Kirk called a sissy.
Similarly it was less than politic of them to refer to our group as the sorriest collection of Atlantis Hunters since James Cameron tried to find the lost city and instead hit upon the Titanic by accident. It was also poorly chosen considering how Cameron profited from that while the rest of the world suffered.
Morlocks are not known for their compassion.
So I have come to the conclusion that everything is up to me. I am beginning talks, apologies really, with the Morlocks to let us some basic access, so that once, just for once I can actually write about Atlantis and not these geeks!



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