Last week's News

News article for the week of 11/20/05.

Mime Liberation Army Springs Into Silent Action
By, Grey Events

In a soundless lightning strike early on Thursday morning, troops from the newly unveiled Mime Liberation Army marched on several world capitals, most notably London, Rome and Moscow, seizing vital transportation hubs and administration centers, though almost no hostages and those people caught at their work were soon released, barricading themselves in these areas and refusing to move.
Apparently no one outside of the intelligence community even knew that the Mime Liberation Army (not referred to by an acronym, mimes don’t do acronyms) even existed. Those that did, considered them to be either largely harmless, containable through their need for white face paint or easily bribed Special Forces fodder.
The mercenary philosophy of the average mime was behind the latter assumption, a notion breed by the actions on the street, where mimes go through their act with cap in hand.
Several agencies even planned to use this capitalist nature, hoping that at some point in the future the Mime Liberation Army, or portions thereof, could be hired for operations.
Now it turns out that the assessments were wrong, and rumors of North Korea bulking up it’s armed forces with legions of bloodthirsty mimes are utterly false as wave after eerily quiet wave of black and white troops take over cities.
As yet there have been no demands issued, some doubt there will be, as that would require a mime to break the code of silence. This assumes of course that the demands will be long and involved, a fair assumption since simple to mime demands would not justify this degree of action.
Of course the fractured, faction riddled nature of mime politics may also be at action here.
This recent move is probably at the behest of extremists attempting to form an independent mime state along the French-Belgian border. The action has taken place mainly in Europe, among those nations that would have the most influence in this matter.
Indeed, Asia, Africa and the Americas have largely been left alone except for Canada and Paraguay.
Liberal mimes on the other hand would prefer a normalization of relations with the world, starting small, say with an end to the marginalization of mimes in movies.
Unfortunately while this faction does retain tremendous control over the mime political arm, the Marceau Party, the leadership has been unavailable for comment.
The only information available comes from low ranked though frequently seen mime Gupta Leureau, who indicated something about shutting, cover, cold, a mirror and something this reporter believes was a Ferris wheel or large hamster run.
The best guess is that the Marceau Party has gone to ground to contemplate it’s own next move.
In the meantime military forces surround evacuated national centers, unable to pass through the invisible barrier mimes have erected.
The only bright spot seems to be the barrier that keeps out the military also keeps the mimes trapped within, as the constant pressing against invisible walls may indicate.