Last week's News

News article for the week of 9/12/05.

The ups and downs of being Swedish
By, Cozmic (resident Swede)

Well, since nobody likes to travel uphill except mountainclimbers, we'll start with the good parts of being Swedish.
There, now come the bad parts!
Nah, there's some good things about being Swedish. For instance, we don't say Swedish meatballs, we just say meatballs. Think of the time we're saving!
Another good thing is that whenever a movie gets released on the cinema, most likely it's already out on DVD in the United States, so you can always import it and watch it at home. There has been a decrese in this lately, however. Of course, there are times when this all becomes absurd. For instance, coming soon to a movie theatre near me: Saved! With Jena Malone. A good movie, I must say. And also a movie that was released last year.
And, of course, the best thing about being Swedish. Legal drinking age is 18. You can't get your license until you're 18. These two should never be combined, of course, but it does mean there's a point in turning 18. You can do things you've been doing since you were probably atleast 16, and maybe even drive home from them.
It's also very easy to be original in Sweden. Just actually grow a brain and listen to music that nobody else has heard of yet due to their conformist ways. Ta-daa, you're instantly original. And shunned from society. But Swedish society isn't that good anyway.
Oh, and also, no matter where in Sweden you are, it will always feel like the middle of nowhere. Some places are just more nowhere than others.

And now for a few short bad things. For starters, Americans always confuise Sweden with Switzerland. One of these nations has a good banking system. We're not it.
Instead, we have statesponsored piecemeal muggings.
Of course, it doesn't just stop at putting money in the bank. Oh no, that would be far too nice. We also pay taxes for being able to afford the luxury of paying taxes. Yes, the electrical bill, which is mostly taxes, also has an additional tax. This additional tax is on pretty much everything you have to pay for. Including, apparently, taxes.
But, then again, good luck finding anything worth buying in Sweden if you don't own a credit card. Ordering CDs is something of an adventure. Because you never know if something will be available, or if the label you're ordering from even exists. Of course it does, it's just that it doesan't exist according to the recordstore. And then, a year later, suddenly it has always been there. If you're lucky that is. If you're not then you're Swedish. And that is generally considered a bad thing.

 Really Pathetic Productions 2005