Last week's News

News article for the week of 7/19/05.

Daughter of Godzilla in Coma
By, Grey News

With the shock discovery of the Daughter of Godzilla injured off the coast of Maine, injured and unconscious, the Monster community has braced itself for the temper of her father.
Holidaymakers enjoying the summer weather, initially mistaken for an injured whale they called in Greenpeace, who called medical personnel when they discovered that the creature they were trying to save was less than photogenic, spotted the Daughter.
Reports state that the Daughter of Godzilla has suffered heavy facial injuries, as well as a broken tail and left arm. Internal injuries were also equally severe, with doctors reporting a punctured lung, various lacerated organs, leading to a poor initial prognosis. Experts report that she may lose some organs, possibly never breathing radioactive fire again.
Though police and Interpol are remaining silent over any investigative leads there are some indications that this may have been gang related. While little more is being said eyewitnesses report graffiti along one of her spinal plates which may correspond to organized crime symbols.
Fueling this rumors at a recent press conference, and though ordinarily proud of his Yakuza connections, Godzilla has released a statement that slams organized crime in all its forms.
Police experts are certain that despite these statements Godzilla will spare no effort, not even those of his criminal connections, to find the perpetrators and deal with them in his own fashion.
The Godddaddy of Monsters went further, stating that no member of his family may be attacked with impunity, and that the full might of Godzilla Spawn will be felt by the guilty parties.
These statements make a curious counterpoint to Godzilla’s continued presence in Japan while the majority of his family has rushed to his daughter’s side in America.
So far the family reunion of tragedy has drawn in every mobile member of the Godzilla family, from the Son of Godzilla to the Daughter’s own two sons, Grandson of Godzilla and Bastard Offspring of Rodan.
For the moment no one has taken responsibility for the assault, indeed it is a bold move in and of itself, more likely related to the Daughter of Godzilla’s attempts at acting or her rumored drug habits.
Co-starring with Jennifer Lopez, who has offered her condolences to the Godzilla family, Daughter of Godzilla has reportedly fallen in with a rough crowd in Hollywood, spending more time partying than she does with her children.
Ever the apple of her father’s eye Godzilla has shielded her from negative press attention while Son of Godzilla raised the two boys as his own along with his own offspring, Granddaughter of Godzilla, Red Son of Godzilla and Barbara Streisand.
While the hunt continues for what are possibly the strongest and most scared assailants since someone tried to mug Hugh Hefner thousands stand vigil around the world for the only entertaining actor of “Shall We Dance” and law enforcement agencies hope that they can at least find the wallets of the perpetrators so they can tell who and what they were.

 Really Pathetic Productions 2005 ©