Past Entertainment Articles.

Article for the week of 3/21/05

Really Pathetic Melodies
Can you watch this (To the tune of have you seen her)
By, Paul Mann Editor and Weirdo

(Spoken)
I was just thinking the other day
How I like seeing a flick
But now I can’t stand most releases
At the local theater-it makes me sick

And to see these horrible titles
For both children and adults (yuck)
It’s horrible, Hollywood’s lack of material
But I need to see something, some way

They just don’t get the picture
The sequels can be so lame
Sure, I laugh, make a few puns
But even the bad jokes are the same

I know I can’t avoid the theater
‘Though week after week I’ve tried
I tell myself watch some TV
But last time I felt like I died…

(Sing)
Oh, I see this crap everywhere I look
The second ring, cursed or the notebook
Can you watch this?
Tell me, can you watch this?

Halle trashes all our heroes
Kitty Woman and Storm really blows
Can you watch this?
Tell me, can you watch this?

Why, oh, why
Did they have to ruin movie time…
Oh-please-no, I’ve had enough of the versus hack jobs
And I’m tired
Boy, am I tired. (Of this crap)

Land before all time should be cut off
Littlefoot, his buds don’t need 10 parts
Can you watch this?
Tell me, can you watch this?
Oh look, Keanu stars in a travesty
Maybe he should stick to Bill and Ted part three.
Can you watch this?
Tell me, Can you watch this?

Why, Steve, Why
Did you sell your soul to Tom Cruise?
Oh-oy-vey it’s just wrong what you did with E.T.
And those scripts
Such awful scripts. (Like A.I.)

(Spoken)
As another movie closes the door
I’m looking for resolution or something
Anything not to suffer anymore
With all the good classics I see
I’m still not a satisfied viewer
I’d rather sit at home
Instead of impailing my brain with a skewer.

Can you watch this?
Tell me, can you watch this? (Tell me, can you watch this?)
Can you watch this?
Tell me, can you watch this? (Tell me, can you watch this?)