Past Entertainment

For the week of 10/31/09

Confessions of a Dislocated Texan

Haunting, not all what it is cracked up to be
By Ezra Mann (Editor in Spoof)

Since that spooky day that someone decided it was cool to look for the afterlife in your average family dwelling, people have been hooked on haunted locations. From the classic ghoulish tale around the campfire to badly made movies and television shows where people run around screaming like idiots, our culture embraces the dead with growing admiration.
With all of this coming to a head on Halloween I often wonder if the average soul wants to haunt anymore. Can the dearly departed take seriously their time amongst the living when we’ve made such a circus out of it? I know I’d rather just move on than put up with the hoopla.
There really can’t be much fulfillment in being an earth dwelling ghost these days. The people who aren’t desensitized are too easy to scare and if you do get someone’s attention they never want to keep the event to themselves.
How about those ghosts that don’t want to appear on the Sci-Fi or History Channel? If they want to talk at all they probably just want to have a nice chat about how the Cubs have more disappointing seasons than a weather channel report on Seattle Washington. Perhaps when they drain those camera batteries on screen that isn’t a cue to go out to the van and get the spare.
Another thing that bugs me is that everyone is looking for ghosts to do the same act over and over again. Would it kill the spook hunters to see if the ghouls are in a joke telling mood instead?
For all we know some of these former living beings could have had an unsatisfied desire to live it up on stage at the Apollo Theater and are now only getting the nerve to launch their career. It would stand to reason that they might need a bit of training in the joke area when all they might be able to do is make the walls bleed. Just think about that the next time you are cowering underneath the covers.
For that matter, why even glorify the public’s craving for appearances by other creepy characters including vampires, witches and werewolves? It just seems too much to live up to what the standard is supposed be, especially when it changes on the whim of so called experts.
If any kind of tolerance is not being taught it is the respect for those that have passed, like a bloody Mary and have animalistic hair or skin conditions. Until such an honorable request is given credence I say those who I’ve given voice to refuse to be a part of this world. Imagination is not worth aggravation and this will be the candy collection day they will never forget!

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