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Article for the week of 9/28/08

The Rock And Roll Hall of Fame needs to get heavier!
By Cozmic

So I was looking over the list of inductees over the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, trying to find something wrong with it, much like there's an incredible amount of wrong with the rest of the music business, but unlike MTV, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame actually includes people with musical abilities, and, to my surprise, quite a lot of them. I wanted to complain that someone like Chuck Berry, incredibly important to rock as we know it (just watch Back to the Future) would never become an inductee, until I saw he was inducted before Elvis, The Beatles and Led Zeppelin (who, if they had not made it, I would loudly have complained about). Clapton's inducted thrice, for crying out loud! My will to rant and rave and sarcastically point out that why don't we induct 'N Sync, for all the fantastic music they've produced over the years, since Madonna's already in (okay, so 'N Sync never produced anything.. 'N Sync was produced, but what merits does Madonna have besides being ancient?), or hell, let us throw Flo Rida, that disgusting one-hit wonder who would not know decent music if it came up and smashed him in the face (dear NOFX, please smash Flo Rida in the face if possible, then come back to Sweden again), but, frankly, they have at least some sort of smartness about this thing, so it was pretty hard to criticize. Of course, the Bee Gees are there. Most assuredly about as rock as a stick without a nail in it or anything like that.. so I could complain about that a bunch, and lots of other people which are not really in any way rock and/or roll, but considering how much the Bee Gees probably scored, well, they've gotten to rock and roll a lot, I would bet.
However, the big question, since we can have things remotely related to rock, is “where is all the metal?” Punkrock is represented by The Ramones and those guys who ever only released one album, the Sex Pistols, but aside from Black Sabbath and AC/DC, and arguably Van Halen and Led Zeppelin, metal is strangely absent. RPP has previously reported on metalfans being furious that those non-drug-abusing geezers known as Iron Maiden still have not been inducted, and one also wonders about what is arguably the fathers of the modern guitar-riff, Deep Purple. A hundred MILLION albums should be enough to at least get some attention, one would think, not to mention either pioneering a genre, or being one of the most respected bands in it for a few decades, or have I maybe misunderstood the whole situation?
Of course, not all is lost, Metallica are nominated for a 2009 slot, which, knowing Metallica, they will probably attempt to sell in order to get more money, Metallica being what they are. So I guess that is a rather bleak fact.. seriously, bring on the heavier stuff already, I am not saying they should let Mayhem in (seriously, don't..), but consider some of the old classics a bit, they deserve it by now! Besides, seeing former members of the Yardbirds on that list is getting repetitive, so maybe they should give Jeff Beck's nomination spot to, like, Anthrax or something. And then replace the rest with the lineup for the main-stages of West Coast Riot this year, as a bunch of extremely anti-sellout punks would be hilarious!

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