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Past Entertainment Articles.

Article for the week of 3/2/08

Which are smarter… Duck's or Rabbits?
By, Puns McKenna
Well… let's look at those ageless examples… Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck. In the cartoon "Rabbit Season" we have the indomitable Daffy Duck trying desperately to "get rid" of the Rabbit. He lays out a bunch of signs advertising how easy it is to bag the bunny. In the end we have our lovable Elmer Fudd trying to bag the Rabbit, but then he has to listen to the Rabbit and Duck argue.

Rabbit Season, or Duck season. If you had two critters standing in front of you, would it really matter which one it was "season" for? Or would you take the opportunity and shoot em both? I would. Rabbit stew is tasty and wonderful. The Duck I’d shoot on principle.

These two Saturday morning cartoon veterans agreed to sit down and do an interview with me, and by some strange coincidence managed to turn it into a battle of one-upsmanships. Each skirmish was fought with some crazy antic. The first such occasion was when I asked them which was the more successful of the two. Now they answered pleasantly enough but then the argument ensued. Bugs produced his proof that he was more successful in the form of a single large gold rabbit statue. I say statue because this thing had to be at least as big as Bugs himself.

Daffy, not to be out done, not to be outshone. Pulled a rope that I hadn’t noticed before, and buried our furry companion in about a zillion duck statuettes. Each statuette, he explained was won for his multitude of cartoons and movie appearances. When Bugs had unearthed himself from the mass of shiny metal I could tell that the angst was on.

They began debating who was star of which cartoon. Knowing at that point that I had lost control of the interview, I sat back to watch these two favorites duke it out for the title of who’s best. They eventually turned the conversation around to one of my favorite cartoons. “Rabbit Season” They fell into their roles as if they were comfortable old socks. Back and for the dialogue flew.

First Daffy: “Rabbit Season!”

Then Bugs: “Duck Season!”

Over and over I heard these lines. It took me a while to realize that there was just one thing missing. So I picked up my cell phone and dialed a number. All the while these two are in the background, “Rabbit Season”, “Duck Season”. When the person I’d called answered the phone I didn’t need to speak. “Let me guess,” he says. “You need me to end the monotonous dialogue?”

I gratefully replied that I did and he said he’d be right over. Since we were at Warner Bros. Studio, I didn’t have more than a moment to wait. The door banged open and in stepped our grizzled veteran, Elmer Fudd, replete in hunting togs holding his rifle.

The argument stopped long enough for them to exchange greetings and then it was right back to the season. I’ll admit I was a little concerned when I heard the first shot fired. I was certain I was about to be made into Swiss cheese. But to my surprise nothing in the room broke, though bullets were flying everywhere.

By the end of the skit, my tape was full and they were all laughing and joking together about whom was most famous. They were out the door talking loudly when I reminded them of my presence and thanked them for their time. Daffy poked his head back in and said, “Anytime ma’am. Just be sure to put me at the top of this little mascarade.”

Huckabee Forms Ultimate Republican Team
By, Grey Events
Still determined to go all the way and not let John McCain have an easy victory in the Republican Presidential Nomination race, Mike Huckabee now seeks to join forces with the only other man in the race, Ron Paul.
This is not the full extent of his plans, Huckabee is also trying to recruit other leading, out in the cold and half forgotten Republicans and Republican associates into a force optimistically called: The Super Ultimo League of Republican Power or SLURP.
Statements from Huckabee have indicated that this is more than a simple team up, a matter of combining popularity and support by making Ron Paul his Vice Presidential candidate early. Instead this is going to be a straight team up with semi forgotten Republican hopefuls to form a John McCain fighting team like no other.
The initial line up has been criticised as being an amalgam of the most extreme Republicans in every direction, consisting of war hawks, deficit hawks, hard core Christian fanatics of three stripes, social conservatives, anti abortionists, creationists and elements of both Fox and the Disney corporation.
Mike Huckabee himself has stated that this new organisation will stand for God’s Truth, God’s Justice and God’s own American way, even if it means bombing the hell out of everyone who isn’t American, starting with the Canada, so frequently known as America Lite. This may be less a nationalism thing to appeal to hardcore patriots and more a copyright thing in line with the wishes of major corporate interests.
This team up is considered the last political gasp for the likes of Karl Rove and Donald Rumsfeld, who have seen their brand of fear mongering turn against their party, their goal and themselves, forcing them from prominent cabinet positions into trainee positions with McDonalds.
The inclusion of Colin Powell was a surprise to many, few thought he was still actively involved in politics beyond the desperate attempt to shore up Presidential legitimacy and the occasional pillow fight.
However all attempts by the press to discover the root of Powell’s involvement have been consistently met with the statement of “I’m just here for the salad bar” from the man himself.
Analysts are predicting little success for the group, in part because McCain has such a commanding lead, also because a gathering of such extreme politicians means that either a balance must be sought, a near impossibility for the more commanding types like Huckabee, or it must fly apart entirely.
And that says nothing about public appeal, unless a balance is created the much sought after independent vote may be lost.
Some have suggested that the inclusion of Lex Luthor is a plus, allowing a degree of ruthlessness that may pull the group together.
Of course the inclusion of Superman, there is no one more prolife than the boy in blue and the press loves him, may simply make conflict and disintegration, figurative and literal, an inevitability.

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