Past Entertainment Articles.

Article for the week of 9/16/07

Once upon a time she was a pop diva, her last performance at an MTV awards ceremony included the most tongue in someone else’s cheek passing of the torch from Madonna to Britney Spears.
This year she gyrated and jiggled in such a manner that everyone thought of their mother squeezed into fishnets and a bikini.
No one wants to think of their mother squeezed into fishnets and a bikini.
And that is what Britney has become. Though she has entered a second adolescence on the party scene she has given birth to two baby boys in rapid succession and married/divorced a white guy with cornrows. And it shows.
And still there is a fervent belief among many who would like to seriously cash in on this sort of thing that it is possible for Spears to make a comeback.
Sadly it appears that the Pop Princess has become the Queen of Trailer Trash and has knowingly or unknowingly embraced it.
While her body would be considered quite attractive and normal on an average person the fact that it’s Britney Spears’ head on top of it makes it look like someone stuck a Barbie head on top of a He Man body, the flagship toy of every boy and girl in a trailer park.
Additionally Spears has turned her multimillion-dollar mansion into a makeshift multimillion-dollar mobile home by putting wheels on the thing.
Many of these wheels are not on the base, some hang from windows, others are on the roof and more than a few have been placed on the toilets as “emergency back up in case the worst really does happen seats”.
Theoretically this is to facilitate touring. Tired of cramped little twenty-five Winnebago convoys relocating to every concert along with a private jet, private helicopter and private dog masseuse Spears is trying to take all the comforts of home with her on her next tour.
The problem with this is no one knows when that will next be. Her latest CD has been in development for over a year and no tour will start without that crucial release.
Spears has replaced all her fine crystal drinking vessels with fine crystal jars that formerly contained organic peanut butter, organic jam and even the occasional home made chilli provided by celebrity friends.
Apparently Britney has done this in order promote herself as environmentally friendly through recycling and reusing materials.
She has even started using environmentally friendly diapers. Or so she says, so far all that has happened is that her two boys are permanently wandering around wrapped in newspaper.
Why she would choose this image, one of the skanky trailer girl, is unknown since at the same time she seems to be trying to push the sultry sex icon image?
She’s pushing it up hill, against the wind and tied down to the Colonel’s secret recipe, but pushing it she is, adding to the speculation that her fragile little mind has broken.