Past Entertainment Articles.

Article for the week of 2/14/07

Two Writers go in... You decide who strikes out!

Valentines Day: Go...or No Go.

Romance is in the air…
By, Puns McKenna
Turtledoves are cooing, aminals all around the world are cuddling up with their mates… And Humans are fawning over one another like lovesick fools. That's right folks it's Valentine's Day again. Time for lovers to take moonlit walks in the park. Watch their favorite sappy love stories. And make asses of themselves in public. All in the name of love.

Ah me c'est l'amour. Want to get that special someone the perfect gift? You know the ones I'm talking about. That one gift that says I love you better than words can. Well now you're out of excuses the Day has come. That's right, Valentine's, the one day a year you can go over the top without people looking at you funny. Let's join the rest of the world in rubbing noses, blowing heart-shaped bubbles, dropping sprays of soft purple orchids all over your desk, and spreading the joy of love and open affection.

Take the afternoon off and take your loved one on a journey of romance, fun, and courtship. From swan shaped paddled boats to snow covered carriage rides. Cupid's got loads in store for lovers. 'Bout the only thing the French got one hundred percent right was the language of love. Be it flowers and candlelight, soft music, or bawdy French ballads. If you use your imagination you can't go wrong.

So what makes Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day? Oooh, historical references abound.

Do you know what St. Valentine's Day is really about? Where it came from? Well… Shhh… It originally started as a Roman Catholic holiday. That's right! It was the day when all Catholics honored St. Valentine. St. Valentine was a priest that lived during the reign of Claudius II. It is believed, since records from back then are obscure, that he helped persecuted Christians, and that he would marry couples in times when marriage was forbidden. A true martyred lover, he was said to be beheaded on February 14th. But because records are so obscure the holiday has been stricken from the Catholic calendar.

But how would you like to win the lottery? That's right! The traditional ways we celebrate St. Valentine's Day have their roots in an ancient Roman festival that was originally held on February 15th. For eight hundred years, young men would draw the name of a lovely maid and keep her as an intimate companion for a year. Doesn't that sound like a blast?

Well Pope Gelasius I didn't think so. So he changed it to be Saint's names that were drawn, and you had to emulate that Saint for a year. Well… when in Rome… The Pope's decree didn't really sit well with the males of the Roman Empire. So the day continued to be a day when Roman men would seek the affections of women. It also became tradition to pass out elegant handwritten messages of admiration, bearing St. Valentine's name.

During the Middle Ages, because it was believe birds chose their partners in the middle of February, St. Valentine's Day was moved to the Fourteenth. And thus came into being the most time-honored traditions of cards and gifts on Valentine's Day. According to legend Charles, Duke of Orleans sent the first Valentine card to his wife in 1415, while imprisoned in the Tower of London.

Talk about romantic! Wouldn't you just want to pick a person to be affectionate with for the whole of a year? Or maybe randomly pick someone to give a gift of love to? No matter how you show your loved one that you care, take a moment and think on just where this wonderful day of celebration comes from. Happy Valentine's Day!

Valentine's Day? More like Wednesday!
By, Cozmic
Let us look at this so called Valentine's Day. So you buy something expensive, or do something romantic, for someone you may or may not like, because everybody else is doing it. And why? So you can buy one stinking rose for the price of a bouquet of other flowers, and be honest with yourself, who would want you if you buy anything less than a dozen or something, and they better be accompanied with chocolate. The end result of this is that you might get lucky, or appreciated, or maybe you just made the other part happy. And what good is that? That does not help you in the least, and you expect to get what you pay for, this is not the Soviet Union!
And we still have barely touched the most sickening part of this all. You could waste all your money on any day of the year for no good, home shopping networks are the proof, but it is not required if you have someone who sort of, kind of, likes you. But on Valentine's Day, you are forced to waste all your money, in the name of large and small corporations wanting to make money. You could refuse, and be blamed for doing nothing. You could waste all your money on junk the day after, and still be blamed. Yes, you are indeed forced to do this hideous act of money draining things at least once every year while people still like you, or you like them.
And the big question is, why just this one time of year? Why be upstaged by everyone else, why see your partner get jealous, all because some made up authority told you so!?
Let us look back at one of the most educational things in the world: television. There is an episode of the Simpsons where Apu decides to make an entire week out of Valentine's Day, spending insane amounts of money, getting Manjula (his wife, for those not in the know) happy, and making everybody else so jealous, and the other husbands look so bad that they decide to sabotage things for Apu. Flanders points out that they could maybe spend all their attention doing something for their own wives, an idea which is immediately shot down. See, you just should not be forced to do something better than buying a card for Valentine's Day, if that!
There should not be a special day for celebrating something that might occasionally be love, it should be every day, or no day at all, or an individual day for each couple, or something, but Valentine's Day is just a regular day where the prices off chocolate and flowers go way up.

 Really Pathetic Productions 2005 ©