Past Entertainment Articles.

Article for the week of 6/26/06

Explaining the Baby Brigade
By, Grey Entertainment

Tomkat, Brangelina and even couples not engaged in celebrity relationships meriting a merged name such as Geri Haliwell, Matt Damon, Jack Black and Gwynth Paltrow are procreating at a prodigious rate, with birthings occurring in an almost synchronised manner.
These births are all occurring at the same time, something that Grey Xphile will inevitably write a piece on, to that end I am sorry that I have given him the inspiration.
However it is a fact that parenthood has become fashionable, not to mention beneficial.
Talks are under way to have Damon and Pitt’s children in a kiddie friendly version of Ocean’s Twelve, tentatively titled Ocean’s Half Dozen. At the moment only George Clooney’s steadfast resolve not to have a child out of nothing greater than a sense of fashion holds up the project.
Those who are not having children are finding their career options becoming increasingly limited while work offers flood Angelina Jolie and even Rachel Weiss’s representatives.
Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and even That Guy Who Knocked Up Nichole Kidman have more scripts and endorsement deals than before.
Some have decried this as yet another example of Hollywood’s age discrimination, with excellent veteran actors such as Sally Fields and What’s Her Name, actresses who are post menopausal and incapable of conceiving without embarrassing medical procedures, being passed over for roles. Not that many roles are being written for women of certain ages.
However the preference for parents has hit younger male actors as well.
Leonardo DiCaprio has found his career options seriously limited of late, despite a recent declaration that he “Could and would impregnate any girl” he wanted.
Perhaps most devastating to his reputation is that this actor, once counted among the most hunky, is finding fewer and fewer offers.
There is some backlash against celebrity parents in the public arena even as their popularity increases.
Much of this can be put down to increasingly ridiculous, outlandish and meaning laden names.
It’s frightening when the most sensible baby name of Bluebell Madonna goes to the child of a Spice Girl.
The Cruise offspring has been labelled permanently handicapped by her moniker, father, shadow of a mother and an early endorsement deal with Nike for their new basketball shoes.
With Brittany Spears already on the radar with child welfare watchdogs it is expected that Suri’s second ranking is the result of timing.
Similarly the Jolie-Pitt spawn may be slightly more fortunate, already endorsing a range of babyware and possessed of moderately intelligent parents, or at least one moderately intelligent parent, and having hired a separate lawyer.
One hurdle she does face is that her parents are already shopping for next year’s model.
Attention such as this has caused a number of childless celebrities to try harder to start a family, or, as in the case of the Talking Immortal Monkey, claim to be the biological father of existing children, such as his claim to being the biological father of Michael Jackson’s children.