Past Entertainment Articles.

Article for the week of 4/19/06

Robo-William Shatner Replaces William Shatner.

Or Is That The Other Way Around?

By, Grey Entertainment

The recent accolades William Shatner has received for his work has stunned many who thought that the premier captain of Star Trek had reached his peak in Star Trek IV.
Now it has been revealed that the Shatner who has stunned critics and sent the last three sane television viewers into a comatose state may be a robotic version rather than the original.
The existence of a Robo-William Shatner is an open Star Trek secret. Early in the series creator Gene Roddenberry had a story wherein two Captain Kirks were needed on screen. Rather than rely on expensive split screen and body double technology Roddenberry chose to employ robotic technology to produce a robotic version of the actor.
This tactic worked so well that multiple Shatners were used in other episodes. However the robot was not initially designed to function for so long, thus the extended run time had some unusual, yet predictable, side effects such as self-awareness, the desire to live and an inexplicable love of all things taffeta.
For some time now Star Trek fans have postulated that the Robo-William Shatner took the place of the original, leading to some of the best Shatner credited work, such as T J Hooker, the first four Star Trek films and the music stylings that William Shatner is famous for.
The sudden downturn experienced from Star Trek V onwards has generally been attributed to over compensation on the part of the robot who decided to be even more Shatner than Shatner.
This opinion is far from unanimous, just as many fans believe that the robot was replaced with Shatner himself at this point, leading to the lower quality of work.
Observers from this faction also believe that the recently awarded Shatner is in fact the robotic version once more ascendant.
Unfortunately this is highly confusing and no one can tell which Shatner is which based on exterior appearance as the robot has aged just as the real one has.
Talent is equally useless in determining identity as neither William Shatner can stop talking in that stilted, halting manner. Not even electro shock therapy or the dramatic Robbie Williams shock therapy have been able to eliminate this manner of speech, or, regrettably, the delusion that William Shatner can sing. The latter is especially regretful as there was a time when the robotic version could sing very well.
Demands of basic tests, dissection and even exposure to radiation or country and western have been made, however it looks like none of these will be employed until after the next Washington Star Trek convention where both Shatners will battle to the death in a specially built arena.
Leonard Nimoy will be called in as referee, while George Takei will be operating the specially constructed mantraps within the arena. Anyone ever associated with William Shatner is apparently fronting up money to see this event happen.
This is not expected to resolve the debate or even provide the slightest proof, it is simply thought to be a really good thing to do with two William Shatners.




 Really Pathetic Productions 2005