Past Entertainment Articles.

Article for the week of 3/22/06

Hanson Back On The Attack
By, Grey Entertainment

Hit family oriented band of family members of the same name Hanson (sorry, that’s what’s in the press release) are on the comeback trail.
Remembered for their hit single “Hmm Bop” the band consisted of three brothers with identical (at least until all three disagreed on their choice of stylist and obtained individual hairdresser) hair, playing “their own style of contemporary feel good pop”.
Though a hit in the mid to late nineties at least a part of their appeal was the relative youth of all three children. Two were minors at the time of their fame while the eldest barely crossed that border.
Any tensions were well hidden, the middle son was the lead vocalist and usually seen as the leader, much to the chagrin of the other brothers. This was in addition to the normal family squabbles, which were largely ignored by the media who were looking for any scandal related to sex or sports doping.
Hanson fame lasted for two years, arguably less as they struggled harder than most to maintain a viable image. Unfortunately as with McCauley Culkin these kids did not become cuter with age. Puberty was unkind to all three as they became homelier and homelier.
Now the Hanson boys have decided to make a comeback. Spurred on by a relative lack of notable comebacks in the music world (there are only nine in progress at the moment, while seventeen actors are on the comeback trail) they have decided that now is to be their time.
There are many factors working against this comeback. Like any other attempt their previous reputation is a boon and a hindrance. The cheery simplicity of the Hanson songs have kept them in the public mind at a low level, not enough to generate new sales yet enough to maintain a small following, possibly enough to relaunch the careers of these three young men.
Unfortunately the will still be remembered as strangely cute androgynous teenagers, something none of them qualify as for various reasons we are not allowed to explore publicly.
Even at the peak of their popularity they were invariably known as “Those girls”, “Those sissy boys”, “Those hermaphrodites”, “That gender confused group”, “Them transvestites”, “The junior transsexuals”, “The two girls and their older brother”, “That girl and her midget aunts”, “The New Novelty Sandwich from Subway”, “Great with a Glass of OJ in the morning”, “The Disgusting Novelty Sandwich from Subway”, “Michael Jackson’s New Pet” and “The MC Hammer of the polka world”.
If Hanson is to make a serious comeback then they will need to shatter these existing perceptions with something that is either new and exciting in the world of music, or something so tried and true that people will buy into it because they can’t tell it apart from the hit of the day.
History shows that the latter always wins out. Damnit.




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