Past Entertainment Articles.
Article for the week of 12/5/05
Trout on Strike
By, Grey Entertainment
In a move that many inside the entertainment industry have been expecting
for some time, Acting Trout around the world have announced that they
are going on strike over pay, employment conditions and treatment.
Few in Hollywood are surprised by the move, most would have expected it
sooner given the greater association between trout and the rich and powerful
in recent years. This extra contact with the movers and shakers has not,
unfortunately, translated into an improvement, leaving trout with little
choice but to withhold their services.
Those in the know say that this action would have been taken sooner but
for circumstances beyond anyone’s control. Spawning difficulties last
year put off all other decisions, though rumors of conspiracy have spread
no evidence has arisen to support them.
Although this has not prevented several trout making noise of interference
the lack of a target or direction has made action difficult.
The main issue behind the strike is of course money. Trout are among the
lowest paid acting animals, a group on the lowest rung of the pay ladder
with only beavers, piranhas and butterflies earning less.
The humiliation that cockroaches are earning more and performing Shakespeare
is particularly galling, though cat and rabbit spokes animals stated that
if they can swallow it so can trout.
The low rate of pay is of course due to the flooded market. Ever since
a team of trout successfully filled in for Matthew Perry on the hit sitcom
“Friends” for half a season while the human star underwent some detox,
many young trout have seen acting as the way out of the slums and streams
of their youth.
With so many wannabes available there is naturally little incentive to
offer high pay. As one trout actor sadly put it, “A dime a dozen isn’t
just a phrase, for us it’s reality”.
Sardine wages aside there are other underlying issues. On set trout are
treated poorly in terms of accommodation, raising the sardine comparison
More importantly to some is the issue of pride, these are the cousins
of the legendary Mighty Trout, whose powers have served for generations
all over the world. Though these Mighty Trout are distant cousins the
constant comparison in performance and treatment just exacerbates matters.
It is not without wry humor that trout perform as salmon, though this
is simply pouring salt into the wound.
In Steven Segal’s latest movie, “Stupid Lazy Europeans” almost fifteen
percent of all registered acting trout and hundreds of unregistered part
time extras were used for the scene where Segal single-handedly fought
off a Canadian invasion of the Mexican highlands. Almost unknown is that
a troupe of the same trout were playing the bagpipes that became a part
of the score for this battle.
For now most want to just want to frighten producers and directors, hoping
to gain maneuver room in contract negotiations, hoping that their contribution
to the acting world is significant enough to force some sort of concession.