Past Entertainment Articles.

Article for the week of 12/5/05

Trout on Strike
By, Grey Entertainment

In a move that many inside the entertainment industry have been expecting for some time, Acting Trout around the world have announced that they are going on strike over pay, employment conditions and treatment.
Few in Hollywood are surprised by the move, most would have expected it sooner given the greater association between trout and the rich and powerful in recent years. This extra contact with the movers and shakers has not, unfortunately, translated into an improvement, leaving trout with little choice but to withhold their services.
Those in the know say that this action would have been taken sooner but for circumstances beyond anyone’s control. Spawning difficulties last year put off all other decisions, though rumors of conspiracy have spread no evidence has arisen to support them.
Although this has not prevented several trout making noise of interference the lack of a target or direction has made action difficult.
The main issue behind the strike is of course money. Trout are among the lowest paid acting animals, a group on the lowest rung of the pay ladder with only beavers, piranhas and butterflies earning less.
The humiliation that cockroaches are earning more and performing Shakespeare is particularly galling, though cat and rabbit spokes animals stated that if they can swallow it so can trout.
The low rate of pay is of course due to the flooded market. Ever since a team of trout successfully filled in for Matthew Perry on the hit sitcom “Friends” for half a season while the human star underwent some detox, many young trout have seen acting as the way out of the slums and streams of their youth.
With so many wannabes available there is naturally little incentive to offer high pay. As one trout actor sadly put it, “A dime a dozen isn’t just a phrase, for us it’s reality”.
Sardine wages aside there are other underlying issues. On set trout are treated poorly in terms of accommodation, raising the sardine comparison again.
More importantly to some is the issue of pride, these are the cousins of the legendary Mighty Trout, whose powers have served for generations all over the world. Though these Mighty Trout are distant cousins the constant comparison in performance and treatment just exacerbates matters.
It is not without wry humor that trout perform as salmon, though this is simply pouring salt into the wound.
In Steven Segal’s latest movie, “Stupid Lazy Europeans” almost fifteen percent of all registered acting trout and hundreds of unregistered part time extras were used for the scene where Segal single-handedly fought off a Canadian invasion of the Mexican highlands. Almost unknown is that a troupe of the same trout were playing the bagpipes that became a part of the score for this battle.
For now most want to just want to frighten producers and directors, hoping to gain maneuver room in contract negotiations, hoping that their contribution to the acting world is significant enough to force some sort of concession.