Past Entertainment Articles.

Article for the week of 8/29/05

MC Hammer Rises From the Grave
By, Grey Entertainment

First it was David Caruso’s career, then it was Elizabeth Taylor’s, then it was Elizabeth Taylor herself. Now with MC Hammer arisen from the grave both in terms of career and being a walking, rotting corpse it is official, resurrection has become the new fad for celebrities.
While those few who moved beyond the fad still care for their pot bellied pigs and electric mood rings the majority of Hollywood is following the trend.
While MC Hammer’s comeback is something of a miracle the fact that he is walking around only a week after being hit by a runaway unicycle loaded with rocks and being pronounced dead is also something of interest.
Doctors are keeping tightlipped about the present comeback king’s physical resurrection, mentioning something about eleven secret herbs and spices and enough helium to float the Titanic, the revival of a career that only six months ago would not have been mentioned in a comedy monologue is being credited to Sean “Po Dinky” Coombs.
“Po Dinky” as he renamed himself in February, masterminded the comeback to fit in with the fashion resurrection of parachute pants.
The net result of all these dead things coming back inevitably fueled the latest Hollywood fad, influencing fashion, music and to a degree movies.
While no one is yet willing to give Shannon Dougherty a chance, Mickey Rourke and Gary Busey have enjoyed recent successes.
The release of “The Long Dark Hammertime of the Soul”, the comeback album of MC Hammer, has done well in the charts, leading some to speculate that Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Bobby Brown or even the New Kids on the Block may release something new.
The tragic downside to this trend is, as always, in fashion. While designers have not gone out of their way to promote the new look, termed “Mortician Vogue” it must be remembered that they similarly did not promote “Heroin Chic” either, simply taking advantage of the tragedy of others.
Certainly the big label designers have taken advantage of the new look, which is a mix of gaunt and pale, lacking the subliminal grace of Heroin Chic and replacing it with woodenness in movement.
Health experts are worried about this phenomenon, for as with Heroin Chic it may become popular among teenagers who may damage their health attempting to imitate the look.
More frightening still is the possibility that it will lead to widespread acceptance of Michael Jackson’s present appearance. Even toy manufacturers are getting in on the act, though the makers of Barbie dolls claim that they always planned a mortuary set for Barbie as a part of their “Real Life Dolls” series.
For all the hype not everyone has managed to profit. Whitney Houston, the woman who technically pioneered the living dead look is no more accepted than before. Similarly Chris O’Donnell, for all that he looks like a dead man, still can’t find a job.
So as the rest of the world braces itself for the onslaught of a fad it does not want we cling to the one hope that may see us through: That someone, hopefully Paris Hilton, will manage the dead but not the back again.



 Really Pathetic Productions 2005 ©