Past Entertainment Articles.
Article for the week of 8/13/05
Polka Trends. Yes, Polka
By, Grey Entertainment
As Hollywood enters yet another wasteland period we entertainment commentators
and critics are being forced to turn elsewhere for subject matter.
If youíre wondering about why Iím the one talking about polka letís just
say itís all to do with a really, really short straw.
The utter and absolute lack of any interesting personalities have left
me interviewing Tom and Tammy Heffenheimer, the ďrebelsĒ of the polka
world. Apparently wearing leather jackets and performing anything other
than the seventy-nine legally mandated moves in polka, and polkaing with
a cat, is enough to get you labeled as a rebel.
Really nice people, but on the whole Iíd rather be talking to Denzel Washington,
however this giant among actors is presently on a desperate mission to
find a film worthy of his time and effort. We can only hope he succeeds.
That the only events of note in the entertainment world are which Jens
are marrying which Bens is sad enough, that it has forced me write a commentary
on how Betty Albright has dumped former polka partner Will Neighbor in
favor of Oliver Grapes goes to show you how much we hope that stories
on who Brad Pitt has impregnated lately never catch on.
Similarly while we all wait in eager anticipation to find out color belts
Paris Hilton will be using as clothes this is hardly news anymore, leaving
me to comment on how low-cut gingham and flannel shirts are beginning
to lower the tone of polka everywhere.
Actually that last one was somewhat refreshing.
This does not excuse the dire state of music that has lead to a report
on the electric accordion. Pro, con, really not important, and yet more
interesting than which rock star has ODíd, which pop princess has descended
to trailer trash levels or what bad words Eminem used to shock frightened
Even the latest music videos, where the singers are wearing the legal
minimum to still be considered fully clothed do not merit as much attention
as the proposed use of two oboes by one player.
Finally the scandals, the scandals have just run out of vigor. No one
cares whoís been caught with what drugs, which prostitutes or how many
head of cattle across which border. Now weíre all engaged in discussions
on just what was revealed with Kitty Irelandís latest, most daring, high
This is the state of world entertainment. In short, itís pretty bad, after
all Polka is looking very, very good. There is little to recommend what
we presently consider entertainment. There are a few new shows for television,
one or two movies, it is entirely possible that a new era will dawn after
Until then no critic will be going to martini nights in penthouse suites,
we will instead be going to potluck gatherings in suburban back yards.
And God help me it feels good.