Emma returned home after spending a night in the hospital. She was told to get some rest, eat and lay off the drugs. What did the doctors know, anyway? Could they cure what she was feeling inside? They didn’t know that the reason she wasn’t sleeping and was taking speed was because when she closed her eyes and went to sleep, she was haunted by nightmares. Nightmares of Paul and Stuart. She kept having this one dream where she was locked alone in a darkened room and she kept hearing Stuart calling for her, but she couldn’t get the door open.
Her friends tried to get her to go out but she made excuses and stayed locked up in her home.
Two days before Christmas, Emma got an unexpected visitor.
"Mum! What are you doing here?" Emma was surprised when she answered the door.
"I wanted to spend Christmas with my daughter."
"You should have called. I could have cleaned up a bit."
Her mother laughed. "You, clean? I wasn’t expecting anything."
Emma led her mother into her home.
"You’ve done a lovely job, Emma. Did you have help in decorating?"
Emma shook her head. "No. It’s all me. Here," she took one of her mother's bags. "I’ll show you where you are staying."
They walked up to the second floor and Emma took her mother to one of the guest bedrooms.
"You look tired," Mrs. James observed as they went back downstairs.
"I’ve been up late painting. You know me when I get an idea in my head."
Emma’s mother wasn’t convinced by the story but she smiled and shook her head. "Yes I do. Have a show coming up?"
"No. I’m taking a break from that. Enough of my paintings are out there. If they forget about me, they forget about me. Are you hungry? I was just going to fix myself something for dinner."
"If you’re eating..."
Half an hour later, they were seated at the kitchen table, fish and chips in front of them.
"George is having Christmas dinner at his place this year," Emma told her mother, making small talk. "I was going to go over there, but if you don’t want to come, I don’t have to go."
"I never meant to interrupt your plans. I’ll come, if I am welcome."
Emma smiled. "Of course you’ll be welcomed. You were practically a second mum to those guys."
Her mum laughed. "I could always expect one or more to show up at our doorstep late at night. Stu seemed to be there the most." She noticed that Emma winced at the mention of his name. Reaching across the table, she took Emma’s hand in her own. "Are you sure everything is alright?"
Emma knew she couldn’t hide anything from her mother and broke into tears.
"Oh! Emma!"
"Everything was okay, but lately..." She took in a deep breath. "It’s so stupid. I’ve been having nightmares and they keep me up at night."
"That’s not all though, is it?"
Emma shook her head and sighed, throwing her napkin onto the table. "I think it all started when I first moved to New York. All the things that have happened in my life since just kept chasing me and finally they caught up. I just feel so worn down, physically and emotionally."
"Why haven’t you ever come to me?"
"I thought I could handle everything by myself." She laughed, "I’m young, mum. I’m supposed to be stupid."
"Not stupid, you just followed everything with you heart."
"And look where that got me."
Supper was clearly over so Mrs. James pushed her plate aside and leaned forward. "Love does strange things to people, Emma. Take it from me. It makes us blind. It messes up all our other emotions and feelings, leaving our head in a jumbled mess. Sometimes we confuse love and hate. But in time, that jumble in our head clears itself and everything makes sense."
Emma sat back in her chair, wiping away her tears. A sad smile spread across her lips. "I messed things up, Mum."
Her mum shook her head. "No. Life will take you on the path you were meant for. It’s supposed to be a surprise. Everything has a meaning. Just go with it."
Emma had to laugh. "When did you become so wise!?"
"When I got old," she laughed.
Emma got up from her chair and walked over to her mum, wrapping her arms around her. "Thank you for coming."
She patted Emma’s back, giving her a tight squeeze. "I’m always here for you. And don’t think you can fool me. Mothers have secret radar, you know."
Emma laughed. "I know!"
Christmas day. Emma and her Mum spent the morning unwrapping gifts and then got ready to head over to George and Pattie’s.
"Will Paul be there?" her mother asked as they drove up to the Harrisons'.
Emma nodded her head. "I imagine so. Hopefully we won't have any confrontations. Every time we talk, we just end up screaming at each other."
"I’ll make sure to keep you two apart, then."
"And if we act up, will you put us in separate corners?" Emma joked.
"If it has to come to that, then yes," her mother replied in all sincerity.
Emma just laughed. "Oh. This has just been such a crazy year! Oh, did I remember the presents?"
Her mother nodded her head. "They’re in the back seat."
"We did secret Santa this year. I got John, but I still wanted to get something small for everyone else."
They pulled into George’s driveway.
"Looks like everyone is already here," her mum observed.
They grabbed the gifts and walked up the walkway, knocking on the front door.
George opened it and smiled at Emma. "Happy Christmas!"
"Happy Christmas!" She gave him a hug. "I hope you don’t mind, but I brought a guest." She stepped aside so George could see who it was.
"Mrs. James!" he cried, throwing his arms around her.
"Hi George, and please, call me Kate."
He ushered the two women into his house, taking their jackets and lead them a large room at the back of the house where everyone else was. There were hugs and laughter.
After dinner and all the presents were opened, they sat around a large grand piano. John sang Christmas songs, replacing some of the lyrics with his own, making everyone laugh.
Emma managed to be civil to Paul, and he the same. At one point during the night, they were standing side by side in the doorway watching John dance with Emma’s mother.
"Did you know that she was coming?" Paul asked.
Emma laughed as John dipped Kate then looked over at Paul, shaking her head. "No. I’m glad she did though. I needed my mother."
Paul looked at the ground. "You really scared me when you were rushed to the hospital."
"I’m sorry." She didn’t know what to say.
"Are you okay now?"
Emma shrugged she shoulders. "I guess. Still have sleeping problems, but . . ." Why am I telling him this!? "...but that’s about it. It was stupid of me to get myself into the hospital. Sometimes I get so carried away with my work that I forget that I have to eat and sleep," she laughed, "and sometimes breath." Shut up, Emma!
"Well, as long as you feel better."
"I do."
There was an awkward pause. Emma played with the ice in her drink and Paul stared up at the ceiling. That’s when he saw the mistletoe.
He cleared his throat and she looked over at Paul to see him pointing towards the ceiling. She looked up and hear heart stopped. Of all things! her mind cursed.
"You aren’t saying that we should-"
But before Emma could finish the sentence, Paul had pulled her into the kitchen, away from everyone else, and had his lips on hers. Emma tried to fight him, but soon she found herself kissing him back. She closed her eyes and her head was swimming. Paul kissed her hungrily, giving into the aching need, the long nights of wanting her. He reached under her to catch her hips and drag them lazily against his. And for long exquisite moments, they became reacquainted with the touch, taste, and feel of each other. He gently raised his mouth from hers and gazed down into her eyes, stroking his hand up into her hair. Her gaze was intense with longing. And the she stopped him.
"Why did you do that?" she whispered, stepping away from him.
"Because I wanted to," Paul answered.
Emma couldn’t bring herself to look at him, feeling embarrassed at her reaction to his touch.
Paul reached over and placed his hand on her shoulder. "You can’t tell me that you didn’t just feel nothing from that kiss."
Emma looked up at him and removed his arm from her shoulder. "I can and I will. I felt nothing from that kiss." And she walked away.
