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Hear Ye, Hear Ye...Allow the Court Jester to Entertain You

Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned.

Q: Have you ever seen a Duchess?
A: Yes--it's the same as an English "s".

Q: When a knight in armour was killed in battle, what sign did they put on his grave?
A: Rust in peace!

Q: What did the dragon say when he saw St. George?
A: Oh no! Not more tinned food!

Q: How do you send a message in the forest?
A: By moss code.

Q: What do you call a mosquito in a tin suit?

A: A bite in shining armour.

Q: There are many castles in the world, but who is strong enough to move one?
A: Any chess player

Q. What king of medieval England was famous because he spent so many nights at his Round Table writing books?
A. King Author!

Q: How do you find a princess?
A: You follow the foot prince.

Q:Why were the early days of history called the dark ages ?
A: Because there were so many knights !

Q: Why did Arthur have a round table?
A: So no one could corner him!

Q: Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A: Sir Cumference!

Q: Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener?
A: He had a bee in his suit of armour!

Q: What was Camelot ?
A: A place where people parked their camels!

Q: What was Camelot famous for?
A: It's knight life!

Q: When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight?
A: When they had lots of sleepless knights!

Q: Where did knights learn to kill dragons?
A: At knight school!

Dragon Line

There were three guys and a dragon . The dragon said, "I am going to eat you. The first guy said, "No, let's make a deal." The dragon said ,"O.K. what kind of deal?" The second guy said, "If we each tell you something that we think you can't do, and you can do all of it, you may eat us." The dragon agreed to the deal. So the first guy said, "Go to the barn, eat 16 rooms of hay,". The dragon did it. The second guy said, "Drink half of the ocean water." The dragon succeeded in doing this, also. The third guy burped, and said, "Catch it and paint it green." The three guys lived happily ever after!

Dragon Line

There were three Medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, which the kingdoms had been fighting over for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island.

The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had 5 squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had 20 knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor.

When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the knights to join in). The battle raged, and when the dust cleared, the only person left was the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires from the other two kingdoms.

I guess this just proves that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

Dragon Line

Did you hear about the knight whose horse (the last in the kingdom) lay down and died of exhaustion so he couldn’t get an important message to the king? The only thing the serfs could offer him was an old swayback dog, to which the knight responded, “I wouldn’t put a knight out on a dog like this!”

Dragon Line

In medieval England, it was the custom for the heir to the throne to wear a fancy ruffled collar known as a ruff. One particular heir wore an exceptionally fancy ruff known as a dandy ruff, which blocked his vision so that he kept tripping and falling.

This proves that dandy ruffs cause falling heirs.

Last updated on March 25, 2003.
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