click for lyrics 1. Get A Job 2. The Hearing Song 3. She Said... 4. My Friends Suck 5. Alternative Girl 6. Wanna-be 7. Surfer Girl 8. UBOTHERME 9. Face in the Crowd 10. I Hate Myself 11. One Night Stand 12. Impotency 13. Worthless 14. Employers Market 15. S.F.L.B. 44. Hidden track

Get A Job I've been wasting my life For 19 years I'm tired of sitting around, watching football and drinking beer I don't want to go to work, Pushed around by a fucking jerk I don't want to do anything But my life is in a rut An education I gave up I don't want to do anything Oh yeah. I'm going out to get a job I'm gonna rise up to the top I'm gonna make a million dollars A couple years have gone by I feel I'm getting old Nothing to do with my life I'm just a loser with nowhere to go

The Hearing Song Huh? What did you say? Repeat it again. Talk a little louder, talk as loud as you can. There's a ringing in my ear. My hearing is not clear. Talk a little louder, man, I just don't understand You don't know, you don't know what it is like When I try to talk to people, it gets me so uptight All you stupid people! Don't you understand? To make a conversation, I have to use both hands Huh? What? I've got a hearing problem, it's my disability It's always the same, every single day Physically disabled and it's "getting to my brain" (Ian gets credit for this quote) There's a ringing in my ear' I cannot fucking hear Talk a little louder, man, I just don't understand Don't try to raise your volume, it won't do any good Neither of my nodes are workin' like they should All you stupid people. Can't you understand? To have a conversation I have to use both hands Huh? What? I've got a hearing problem and I try to comprehend If I want to talk, I have to use my hands I've got a hearing problem and I think i'm going deaf

She Said... When I think about her, I just get down Knowin' that she doesn't want me around Maybe if she would try, things could work out But I know that it's useless to maintain this state of hopelessness cuz when I see her... She said she's got better things to do! Masturbation's left me alone I can't even talk to myself on the phone Maybe if she would try Things would work out But I know that it's useless to think that she'd love me cuz she is a stupid bitch an' She said she's got better things to do My head's spinnin around I can't think about it Maybe I'm someone she... She can't understand!

My Friends Suck I feel estranged from all my friends I feel a disconnection, guess I don't need them When they're around They'll criticize About my happiness it makes me hurt inside Overcoming all my fears Constantly criticized by all my peers I don't want you around me anymore Find someone else to be your friend, leave me alone When I'm by myself I feel so free No one to push me down and make me brush my teeth When they're around They'll criticize My friends don't understand that they're hurting me inside

Alternative Girl Alternative Girl I can't believe I just fell in love with you Because you look so cool Some say you're strange, but to me you're just plain beautiful You shop at the lab Expensive clothing 'cause the style is just another fad I love the way you dress Baggy jeans and a t-shirt showing off your breasts Alternative Girl! You rock my world Every time I think about you my head starts spinning around With your colored hair, and your thrift store clothes You're the most wonderful person That I've ever known Alternative girl I love the smell of your petrole oil Yeah you smell so good You smell like rotten food that's overdue Alternative girl, I'm in love with you Alternative girl, you rock my world

Wanna-be Here's a story about a girl who thinks she's so fucking cool The dumb bitch don't make much sense, She tries to be different When a band becomes a trend, she acts like she's the biggest fan She's just a spoiled bitch, her dad is so filthy rich Don't ask me why I think you're lame You and your friends all dress the same Your tiny tits don't smother me You're just a fucking wanna-be She is an anti-prep She thinks she's alternative She just wants to fit in by smoking her cigarettes She's always talking shit because she is a six foot bitch When a band becomes a trend, she acts like she's the biggest fan You're not punk, you're not ska, you try to be something you're not You're not grunge, you're not rock, you try to be something you're not.

Surfer Girl I was at the beach, sittin on the sand When I saw this girl, Dark brown eyes and a dark olive tan She was watchin' the sets With a surfboard underneath her arm The first moment I saw her I knew she'd do me some harm She's so good She came out of the water From the best session I'd seen Man, she had the biggest chi-chi's I had ever seen She put down her board and sat down next to me And played a soft ole lonely tune on her ukulele I don't know what had happened But I'd fallen asleep The next morning I woke up She was sleeping next to me Chorus: I fell in love with her I'm so in love with her I fell in love with her My little surfer girl She got out of ved and waxed up both our boards Grabbed me by the hand and then she took me out the door We surfed all that day long At least 10 hours straight Man! I knew she was the one And damn I couldn't wait Well, I asked if she loved me She said, "Yeah, well, I guess" So I asked her to marry me Dammit, you know she said yes Chorus I was at the altar in my tuxedo Waiting for my surfer girl Man, where did she go Later on that day A friend to me did tell That she went to Mexico To catch a ten foot swell That bitch Chorus My surfer girl

UBOTHERME You drive me up the fucking wall I can't stand you anymore I don't want to talk to you, I'd rather be ignored Your mom's a bitch, your dad's a jerk, And you're a nasty whore I'm sick of all the things you do, can't stand you anymore Your breath is fucking stinky And your body's smelly Smoking all your cigarettes, you're gonna burn in hell You're a fucking loser, you're always getting stoned Masturbating in your bedroom when you're all alone Well I don't want your money, I don't want you around I dont need your fucking company because you bother me! You're so damn annoying You're so irritating Whenever you start yelling My ears begin to bleed I don't wanna listen, but you will never leave You are my ball and chain, there's nothing I can do My mind is going to explode from being around you You're always fucking singing all the trendy tunes Play air guitar, you rock with Gwar, You'll be a rock star soon Going out to parties and acting really cool Shooting up and drinking when you should be in school

Face in the Crowd Whenever I go out to the parties I try so hard just to fit in I'll walk around with a cup of beer in my hand And smoke a cigarette I want to be like everyone else If i was a rock star, they would notice me And they would want my autograph I'll have a video on MTV And I'll be signed on Epitaph I'm just another face in the crowd, not gonna let it bring me down Because I know someday, I'll break away I'm just another face in the crowd, gonna break away somehow Before my mind goes insane Everyday I think about my future I don't know what I want to be It always feels like I'm stagnating... Uh whoa uh whoa uh oh oh...oh! Seperated from society If I was an actor like Keanu Reeves Then all the girls would scream and shout I'll be rich and famous from the movie screen And by this time we'll be sold out

I Hate Myself Deep down inside I feel I need a change So sick of everything, it all just seems the same Always unhappy, I cannot find a smile Wasting my life away, I guess you can call it suicide My life's a waste Nothing left for me to be I hate myself I have no friends It's time to move on I'm treading water, I'm struggling by the edge I'm sitting here all alone, I just can't lose myself My friends ignore me, they think my life's a waste They're now my enemies all of which I hate Always unhappy, I got a gun pointed to my head Will someone come help me now before I turn out DEAD?

One Night Stand Hey all you girls, I've seen you at the parties I've seen you getting drunk, making fools of yourselves But it's ok! I'll get together with you anyways Just as long as I never see you again You say you want love, but do you think I really care? All you were was a "One Night Stand", and all I wanted was youre sex... Come on all you gurlz, let's get together We're gonna have a great time I'll take off you're clothes, then take off mine..And then we'll begin to dine!! Hey, all you girls, I'm feeling really horny I've got a big ol' boner sticking out of my pants But it's okay! I'll get together with you anyways. Just as long as I never see you again. One time possesion and you don't mean shit to me All you wanted was a relationship and I just want you to suck my dick

Impotency Impotency really sucks. I don't know why I can't get it up. All of my friends make fun of me "Hard to ejaculate! Easy to pee!" I'm flacid and limp I can't get an erection There must be something wrong with me I will never get laid, I've got a penis infection There must be something wrong with me!! Uh, duh...Impotency! I went to my doctor the other day (not today, not yesterday) He asked me if I was straight or gay Well, my eyes are slanted. That's not the problem can't you see? I've got a problem. Actually, I've got a case called Impotency Oh yeah, yeah

Worthless Hey...I cannot wait until the end The end is near and cumming soon You're not bad but you're not great You're just a broad in a mental state. I cannot read between the lines. Pretty soon we're gonna die!! Now you're here and now you're stuck. You're just a worthless...Worthless fuck!!?

Employer's Market Now I've been workin at this company for three years You'd think by then that Id earned some repsect But the company is run by high corporate fagits Who're only interested in gaining more profit And when I thought I wasn't getting my fair share And I asked for a bigger cut of the wealth They just told me to think again And said that they could find someone else Employer's Market Nah they don't give a shit! (screw their workers over just to gain a little profit) Still at this company for the fourth year Guess I'm too lazy to find a better job Maybe I'll see if K-Mart's still hirin Or get an application at Jack-In-The-Box And when I got caught out to lunch early I got a lecture for 10 minutes long And then he fired me right there at 1:30 That's what inspired me To write this song!

S.F.L.B. You walk around town in youre new leather boots. Going out ot bars, cranking up your favorite tunes KNAC is pumping while youre pitting and you're jumping You and your friends pick out who you'll be thumping Your front is short and your back is very long No matter how you comb it, it still looks very wrong Just look into a mirror and a dumb-ass you will see You're just a stupid jock with an S.F.L.B. No helmet, no pads, no skin-tight pants Why must you act stupid and fucking slam dance? It really feels good to fight for no reason Just because football is out of season!!

lyrics | discograhpy