| What she says: | What she really means: | |
|---|---|---|
| "We need" | I want | |
| "This Kitchen is so ____" | I want a new house | |
| "I want new curtains" | and carpet, and furniture, and ... | |
| "I need a new pair of shoes" | the other 40 are all the wrong color | |
| "I only need a soap dish" | We'll check out all the sale items | |
| "Those are a bargain" | Did you bring your checkbook? | |
| "Does this dress look OK?" | I need a new wardrobe | |
| "Look at this coat!" | Is VISA maxed out? | |
| "You're so attentive tonite" | Is sex all you ever think about? | |
| "It's just... I'm soooo tired" | Get away from me, you sex maniac | |
| "It's been such a hectic day" | Get away from me, you sex maniac | |
| "Hon! I just did my hair" | Get away from me, you sex maniac | |
| "Are the kids asleep?" | Get away from me, you sex maniac | |
| "Won't you be late for work?" | Get away from me, you sex maniac | |
| "Turn out the lights first" | My thighs looked flabby today | |
| "Of course I like making love" | Is this gonna take much longer? | |
| "You're ... so manly" | You need a shave and a shower | |
| "You have such a manly scent" | For God's sake. Use some deodorant | |
| "My, don't you look comfortable" | Go put on a shirt, slob | |
| "So nice to see you relaxing" | Don't sit around in your underware | |
| "I'm not upset!" | Of course I'm upset, you moron | |
| "I'm not emotional!" | You'd be too, if you married an idiot | |
| "I'm not mad at all" | I can't believe you're that stupid | |
| "Yes, I'm still talking to you" | I can't believe you're that stupid | |
| "I'm not being quiet" | I can't believe you're that stupid | |
| "Nothing is wrong" | Besides the fact you're such an asshole | |
| "Hang the picture there" | NO -- there! Can't you listen? | |
| "Hon, I hate to interrupt..." | Turn off the damn TV | |
| "When you get a chance..." | Get up & do it right now! | |
| "When you get time..." | Get up & do it right now! | |
| "I just remembered..." | Get up & do it right now! | |
| "No hurry, but..." | Get up & do it right now! | |
| "Did you lock the front door?" | Get up and go check, now! | |
| "I think I heard a noise" | Get up and go check, now! | |
| "Was that the baby?" | Check on the baby, and change/walk him | |
| "Just reminding you" | I've asked you a dozen damn times | |
| "Do you love me?" | I want something expensive | |
| "How much do you love me?" | I did something terrible | |
| "Be ready in a minute" | Find a game on TV | |
| "Is my butt fat?" | Tell me I'm beautiful | |
| "Do you like this lipstick?" | Tell me I'm beautiful | |
| "Should I get my hair cut?" | Tell me I'm beautiful | |
| "Yes" | No | |
| "Maybe" | No | |
| "Well, we'll see" | No | |
| "Perhaps" | No | |
| "If you think so" | No | |
| "Let's think about it" | No | |
| "Shouldn't we wait?" | No | |
| "Let's not rush things" | No | |
| "No" | NO!!! NEVER!!! NO WAY!!! | |
| "I'm sorry" | You'll be sorry | |
| "Do you forgive me?" | You'll be sorry | |
| "Well, I was upset" | You'll be sorry | |
| "Well, I was tired" | You'll be sorry | |
| "Well, I had a headache" | You'll be sorry | |
| "Do what you want" | You'll pay for this later, big time | |
| "Do what you think best" | You'll pay for this later, big time | |
| "You know more about it" | You'll pay for this later, big time | |
| "As I recall, it was your idea" | You'll pay for this later, big time | |
| "Yes, I've calmed down" | You'll pay for this later, big time | |
| "I realize it was my fault sweetheart" | You ain't seen nothing yet! | |
| "It's your decision" | The correct decision is obvious | |
| "Sure... go ahead" | Don't you dare, you clown | |
| You like this recipe? | It's easy to fix | |
| "Do you want to eat out?" | I forgot to go grocery shopping | |
| "What do you want for dinner?" | I don't feel like cooking | |
| "You seen that new restaurant?" | I don't feel like cooking | |
| "It's your Mother's recipe" | You'd better damn sight eat that | |
| "You liked that the last time" | You'd better damn sight eat that | |
| "Don't want to talk yet" | Go away, I'm building up steam | |
| "Just need some time to think" | Go away, I'm building up steam | |
| "We need to talk" | I need to complain | |
| "Learn to communicate" | Just agree with me | |
| "I am not yelling!" | This is important, you idiot! | |
| "Are you listening to me???" | Too late, you're dead | |
| "Our anniversary's coming up" | When I think of the guys I could've married | |
| "The kids were so bad today" | Your gene pool needs more chlorine |