IN MEMORIAM

Hominy Johnston "Flintlock" Honkenoffski

1947-2002

The Honkenoffski clan is gladdened to announce the official, final, complete and messy death of the ugly duck of the family, Hominy Johnston "Flintlock" Honkenoffski.

Flintlock's life was marred by abuse, alcoholism, religious fervor and -- mostly -- his own hateful demeanor towards everything that breathed. His birth sometime in the Winter of 1947 caused the death of his mother, Barbara Ellen Florentine, leaving my father Lester inconsolable for long afterward, and possibly affecting his attitude towards me after my birth a few years later.

His downward spiral began at 18, when he entered into his first confidence scam. From there he wove his way through the criminal underworld, occasionally surfacing to work in the "legitimate" field of telemarketing or to bother his relatives for money, food, and a hideout. in the last decade of his life he took frighteningly well to the computer revolution, and continued his scamming and his terrorizing until he was unwelcome in any American city, by both the law and the local transgressors of it. His last years were spent wallowing in alcoholism and thievery, ultimately dead of 14 gunshot wounds, most likely from a spurned acquaintance from his malfeasances.

We are all glad to be rid of him; as far as we know, he is survived by no children, but with him it is impossible to tell.

Cessante causa cessat et effectus.