DOG NAMED SEX
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "rOvEr"
or "sPoT". I called mine *sex*. Now sex
has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the city
hall to renew the dog's license for sex, I told
the clerk I'd like license for sex. He said, "I would
like to have one too!". Then I said, "She is a dog!!!"
He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "you
don't understand. I had sex since I was 9 years
old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong
boy."
When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I
would like to have sex at the wedding. He told me
to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But
sex has played a big part in my life and my life
revolves around sex." He said he didn't want to hear
about my personal life and would not marry us in
his church. I told him everybody would like having sex at
the wedding. The next day, we were married
at the justice of peace. My family is barred from the
church then on.
When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog
with me. When we checked into the motel, I
told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife,
and a special room for sex. He said every room
in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't
understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk
said, "Me too!"
One day I entered sex in a contest. But before the
competition began, sex ran away. Another contestant
asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I
was going to have sex in the contest. He said
that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't
understand!!!" I said. I hoped to have sex on TV!!"
He called me a show off.
When my wife and I separated. We went to court to fight
for custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor...I
had sex before I was married, but sex left me after I was
married." The judge said, "Me too!!"
Last night, sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all
over for her. A cop came over and asked me what
I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning and
I said, "I'm looking for sex." My case comes up
next Thursday.
Well!!! Now I have been thrown in jail, been divorced,
and had more damn troubles with that dog than I
ever foresaw. Why? Just the other day when I went for my
first session with my psychiatrist, she asked
me, "What seems to be the trouble?". I replied, "Sex has
been my best friend all of my life, but now it has
left me forever. I couldn't live any longer...so lonely!"
And the doctor said, "Look mister…you should
understand sex isn't a man's best friend…so get yourself
a dog!!!"
Email: sweethonesty@angelfire.com
