Stefani looked out her window and watched as the storm proceeded into the night. She thought it resembled how her life was at that moment.
The storm representing the horrible nightmares that plagued their dreams and when it blew over something or someone was going to be missing. Shuddering at the fact of losing her twin when she just found her made her angry and hurt.
Thinking about what all that was keeping her in Tulsa she kept coming back to Taylor. She just promised him that she wasn't going to move away from him, and that's exactly what she was going to do.
"It's time Shennan stayed with her family." She said turning her attention to her sleeping sister.
She was sleeping quietly, but from the way her face scrunched up every once in a while it was obvious she was having another nightmare.
They each continued to have nightmares since their first one. But they would never speak of them. Fearing the worst if they spoke them out loud and acknowledged them.
Stefani went over and placed her hand on her shoulder. She was going to wake her when Shennan's face relaxed and a small smile of relief played on her lips.
Smiling, she went back to her bed. Rolling onto her side, Stefani watched as her twin slept. Then she fell asleep herself.
Upon waking up, Stefani noticed that Shennan wasn't in her bed. She checked around and saw that her suitcase was out but it was empty. Sighing in relief she went downstairs in search of her family.
She found them all at the table eating breakfast. She smiled at them all and sat between Shennan and Ryan. She was silent for a few seconds before she spoke up.
"Shennan, you can't go." She barely said loud enough for everyone to hear. "I won't let you."
She choked on her orange juice. "Wh-what?" She asked still choking.
Stefani looked at her. "You can't go. You deserve to be part of this family too. I've had a family longer than you and you deserve to have them and Mykah." She explained.
Shennan shook her head roughly. "No, Stef. I can do it. And I'm going to." She said sternly.
But Stefani shook her head also. "No, you're not." She argued softly.
Looking up at her parents, Shennan silently begged them to leave.
Understanding, they nodded their heads and left. Taking Mykah and Jason with them.
She turned back to Stefani. "You have more here than I do. And I can always come and visit." She said trying to convince her that what she was saying was unimaginable.
She looked up at Shennan with her blue eyes staring into the violet depths of hers. She saw the same thing in her sister's eyes that she knew Shennan was seeing in hers. They had grown so close so fast that they were growing very protective of each other.
"Neither of us wants to leave, and we don't want each other to leave. So where does that leave us?" She asked softly.
"I want to leave." Shennan lied closing her eyes.
"Nice try." Stefani said giving her sister credit for trying to persuade her to stay. "But when you lie to me, do it with your eyes open and you might fool me."
Shennan opened her eyes and stared long and hard at her sister. She had only one more idea and weapon to use against her. "You can't go either." She said clearly.
"Why not?" She questioned. She eyed her, wondering what was going on in her head. She could practically see the wheels turning.
She smiled slightly. "I know you can't. You won't leave Taylor. Think of what he'll go through when you tell him you're leaving him."
That made her wince, as if Shennan had struck her with her fist and not her words.
Shennan watched as her twin squirmed in her seat. She knew she hit home. She didn't want to, but she had to.
Clearing her throat, Stefani spoke up, "I'm going to tell Taylor today that I am leaving instead of you. After all you have Isaac to think about. Mykah too."
Yet Shennan shook her head. "Isaac knows I'm leaving and Mykah knows he has you and Ryan when he needs someone to talk to. He knew that I wouldn't be around all the time." She explained.
Stefani stared at Shennan, and she stared back. They were fighting a battle that it seemed no one was going to win.
"We'll discuss this some more later. Right now we have to think about our birthday. It's coming up in a few days." Stefani said changing the subject.
She had to come up with new points to argue with Shennan trying to get her to stay, and for herself to leave.
Shennan nodded her head. "I don't know what I want yet." She said as she got up and left the room.
Stefani remained in her seat. She placed her hot forehead on the cool table. "She's gotta stay." She whispered to herself. "She's gotta."
"What?!" Taylor asked loudly. He pulled away from Stefani and looked down at her.
She was still sitting on the couch and Taylor was now standing. She had just told him the news that she was taking Shennan's place and that she would be leaving instead. "Taylor…" She started slowly. She felt the tears coming on.
He took another step back and shook his head. "Do you remember the promise that we made to each other last night?" He asked.
Stefani nodded her head. "Yes, I remember…" She started again.
But Taylor interrupted her again. "So did you just feel like saying it at the moment? Did it just fit the time and place?" He asked.
A tear trickled down her cheek. She thought about wiping it away, but decided against it. She wanted to show that she was in pain. "It wasn't like that. I don't want to leave you." She said softly. "But I can't have Shennan leave either." She tried to explain.
"Why not?" Taylor asked as he dropped himself down next to her.
He wasn't sitting close to her, and she didn't want him to be. He seemed like a totally different person to her at that moment.
"Because she deserves to stay with our family too." She explained. Another tear fell.
Taylor sighed and moved close to her, but Stefani scooted away. He sighed again. "I'm sorry." He whispered after a few moments of silence.
"I was being selfish." He said as he looked away from her. He was ashamed at how he acted towards this news she gave him. "I don't want you to leave. But I understand and I respect you even more for it." He continued still whispering.
She turned to face him. More tears fell. She knew that leaving was hard for him. It was hard for her too. She stared into his blue eyes as he stared into hers. "Thanks." She managed to get out weakly.
Trying again to sit close to her, this time she didn't protest or move away. She studied his face, then looked deeply into his eyes. "I love you." She said truthfully.
It was her first time saying it to him. They always stuck with saying 'I like you.' Because they weren't too sure what love was. But Stefani knew what it was now.
Taylor smiled a small smile. "I love you too." He said quietly.
Smiling with satisfaction Stefani pulled Taylor's face down to hers and kissed him. It had felt like the first time they had kissed.
They had been sitting in the hammock talking about relationships and the future. Basically anything that came to mind they talked about that day. Then Taylor just leaned over and kissed her. It was the perfect kiss to her. To him too.
"I'll miss you." Taylor said as he drew back ever so slightly so that they could catch their breath.
"I'll miss you too." She whispered before she placed her lips on his again. In a much sweeter kiss than before.
