After Zac had been at Seymour Groves four times a week for four weeks, he started to get to know some of the other students that went there as well.
One of them made him slightly nervous though. A girl, Kyla, she was five years old, and kept asking him what colors looked like. Knowing that he had had his sight at one time, and she not ever seeing a day in her life.
It bothered him because he always thought that everyone knew what color looked like.
Because he couldn't just say, Blue…well, it looks like the sky. Green…oh, that's grass.
He tried hard to explain it, but couldn't find something to compare it to for her. What could you compare color to, when someone had not anything before, nothing but black?
Slowly he started learning to turn his head in the same direction of where someone's voice was coming from. He learned to count his steps and measure things out slowly in his mind, and he also started learning the basics of reading Braille.
The school was tough, but the people were understanding and patient and he felt comfortable with them. He would consult with a counselor now and again if he needed to talk, but the more and more time he spent at the school, the more and more withdrawn he was becoming at home.
"Zac?" Mrs. Hanson said quietly.
Zac lifted his head from his meal, and tilted it towards her. "Hmm?" He asked.
"Tomorrow's Sunday…" She trailed off nervously.
"Yeah?" He said nodding his had slowly.
"We have Mass." Mr. Hanson interrupted.
"I know." He murmured.
Mrs. Hanson gave a soft sigh. "Do you think you're ready for it?"
Zac tried hard to picture what his mother looked like at that moment. Curious to know if he could handle being in public. He didn't think he was ready, but he gave a small smile anyway. "I can try."
He heard her release a breath, and smiled to himself. Trying hard to be pleasant. Zac felt the distance that was placed between him and his family. He could feel it. Anybody who wasn't blind could see it. Hell, even he could see it!
"Rise and shine boys!" Mrs. Hanson called cheerfully from the doorway of the boys' room.
All of them grumbled and rolled over in their beds, but Zac soon stood up and started groping around for the closet. His hands fumbling through his clothes.
Second from the right, yellow pants. He carefully thought. Fifth shirt from the right, white v-neck.
Smiling proudly at himself, Zac went for the dresser. Taking two steps back he turned slightly and felt the dresser drawer handle in his hand. Socks in the middle are my white ones.
Zac's cheerfulness continued on through the morning. He was chatting happily with his whole family. Giggling and laughing with his younger siblings.
Once they stepped out of the van, he got intimidated. This time his performance was for a crowd. Not for his schoolmates of family.
"Show time." He muttered quietly to himself.
Packing up all of his guts, he straightened his back and held his head up.
He felt his nerves scream at him to stop as he walked through the entrance. His fingers started twitching and his palms started to sweat heavily.
All of a sudden he felt alone. None of his family members were beside him. He couldn't feel their presence. Couldn't smell the perfume his mom wore, or the different colognes his brothers and father would use. Couldn't hear his younger siblings giggling or bickering over something. He was alone.
Zac tried to stay calm, and took his deep breaths like he was suggested to do so at school. But it wasn't working. He could feel the panic rising in his chest and he couldn't handle it.
When he turned around to run, he ran into someone.
Gasping loudly, he made an apology and tried to get away.
He walked quickly, bumping and stumbling along his way. Just getting away from the noise so that he could swallow himself in his pity alone.
Once there was no more noise, only silence, he collapsed against the wall. And he allowed the tears of frustration and anger slide down freely.
How was he ever going to make it blind? How could he live in the dark? What was he being punished for?
To make matters even worse, Zac could hear the intercom explode with the voices of the choir as they sang the beginning song.
'Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I'm found. Was blind, but now I see. 'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved. How precious did that grace appear, the hour I first believed.'
