Unemployed Saint of Scorned Women

"I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale."

"Done."

With those few words, Sunnydale was flipped into a dark oblivion that had a scarred Buffy, vamped out Willow in leather and Angel caged up as a puppy. Seems the new student Anya knew more than just how to coordinate a nice outfit. She was also a 300 year old demon vamp out to terrorize men and avenge the evils they cast upon women. *Gasp* Things like this just don't happen in Sunnydale!

Ok, ok if by third season you're not suspecting every new stranger that walks on-screen then something is wrong with you. I knew something was up with Ms. Prada but my demon-dar must have been affected by the chicken wings I'd eaten earlier in the day. It didn't even flicker when pointed at the mousy teenager.

Soon she revealed her true face - and an ugly one it was. Anyaka, as her soon to be dead victims call her, cruised through time, finding women who had been hurt and granting their wishes. Most of the time they wished they'd never met the guy, or that sheep would *cough* do something really bad and x-rated to him. Yet Cordelia has never been a normal girl and even when considering vanquishing herself, she comes up with new ideas. 

As everyone knows, alternate reality Giles smashed Anyaka's "power source" also known as ugly pendant and Sunnydale slipped back into "normal mode." The only difference was the population had gone up by one ex-demon. 

Anya somehow enrolled herself in high school, although I doubt she had a birth certificated (did they have paper 300 years ago? *jk*) or records from previous schools. She sat next to the Scooby Gang and pretty soon fell in love with Xander. I will NEVER understand why he attracts all the freaks. It just doesn't make sense that a nice, funny guy like him can't attract a normal cutie. Yet he still goes for the weirdos. The conversation when Anya asked out Xander was priceless. "Hey, do you want to maybe do some kind of entertaining thing?" She was convinced that Xander liked her because she saw him staring at her chest - which Xander pointed out only proved that he was breathing *giggle* That episode Xander taught us that men enjoy beef, sports and staring at the bosom. He really is such a clever guy.

Anyway, prom time rolls around and since Xander has absolutely no other recourse, he shows up with a rather pretty Anya. They're having fun - she's telling him about dismemberment and hurting men, he's squirming "So then this one time a girl wished that her ex would cannibalize himself. Even I had a hard time watching that one, let me tell you." 0;-) Then the slow music starts, she puts her head on his shoulder and they dance. They have a moment and she shuts up for long enough to murmur "This is nice." I think that was the exact moment she began to grow on me.

Although she is often very caustic and her remarks border on the tactlessness of Cordelia, its obvious that she truly cares for Xander. She even tried to convince herself that by sleeping with him, she would be able to overcome her obsession and continue her life without the confusion of scorned love. In characteristic Anya mode, she showed up at his basement, dropped her clothes and asked for sex. Typical guy, Xander tried to put her off but in the end submitted. My favorite moment was when she told him she had condoms, "some of them black." *rofl* I don't know what the interest in black condoms is, but it was still funny. 

In the end Anya comes off as a drastically vulnerable girl, unsure of herself or this life and just trying to fit in. I wonder what she would say if Cordy ever asked what her childhood drama was. 0;-)

ICQ #8557096