Poured One For the Pubberz!
Alright, *hiccups* even tho I iz not a true pubber, nor a drunkard *burps*, I often find myself wandering into the good ole Bmans Pub in Sixdegrees. The pub is full of great cheer, great people and a whole lotta laughs. Don't be scared to drop by sometime and say hello to the bartender and many single men and women. Also be sure to take part in many of the stimulating conversations (i.e. beer pools and blowing up kegz with yer lips on the tap). Join in on the fun!
Okay, okay, maybe a couple of beer &
bar jokes...
An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scot go out to a pub and order
3 pints. They each find a fly floating on the top of their mugs.
The Brit says, "Bartender, can I have a spoon?" and quietly removes the fly from his brew.
The Irishman says, "Get out of there!" and flicks the fly away with a finger.
The Scot picks up the fly with his fingers and says, "Alright ya wee bastard. Spit it out. Now!"
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This guy walks into a bar with a large bullfrog perched on his
head.
"Where the hell did you get that?" asked the barman.
"Well," the bullfrog replied, "you won't believe it but it started as this little wart on my ass!"
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OK, ok, so how do you know when you're too drunk?
You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Your job is interfering with your drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
You sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
Two hands and just one mouth - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
You can focus better with one eye closed.
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
You fall off the floor...
Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, and you fell asleep clothed. - hmm.
The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in... (Remind you of Norm Peterson??)
You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and Women or Men.
Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.
Roseanne looks good.
Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
I'm as jober as a sudge.
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A grasshopper walks into a bar, pulls up a stool, and orders a
beer.
The bartender pours him a tall, frothy mug and says "You know... we have a drink named after you..."
To which the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Bob?"
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Two old Irishmen were sitting at the local pub drinking a few
beers. So Paddy says to George, "George me buddy ol' pal.
When I die could you pour a couple of beers o'er me grave?"
George says, "Why certainly, but could I pour it through me bladder fist?"
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And now for the kicker...
After the Great Britian Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona."
The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.
The guy from Budweiser says "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser."
The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Coors says "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors."
He gets it.
The guy from Guinness sits down and says "Give me a Coke."
The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies "Well, if you guys aren't going to drink beer, then neither will I."
This A Round
From Bman's site is owned by
LauraLicious.
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