I always dreamed I'd be a "somebody". Thinking that someday, hopefully in high school, I'd be one of those girls you always hear about. The ones who are beautiful with millions of friends and thousands of boyfriends. The girls who seem to have everything going for them.

Well, I'm in high school and I'm not one of those girls. I'm your normal wallflower. 17 and never been out on a date. I'm not part of the "in" crowd. I'm part of the other crowd; the one you never seem to hear about. Even the nerds are better known.

I don't really mind the crowd I'm in. I love all my friends. And I'm one of those people who can get along with almost everyone, so the "in" crowd are friendly to me when they see me, but they won't call me a friend. And I'm not mean to the geeks of the school. Most of them aren't that bad. Okay, Norman is bad! But there's always someone like that.

What bothers me is the fact that I've never had a boyfriend. I've never even been on a date! It seems like everyone has a boyfriend but me, or at least had one. I'm not ugly, but I'm no prize winning beauty like a lot of girls either. My two best friends try to cheer me up, but you don't know my best friends. Karen could be mistaken as a goddess! My other best friend is a guy. Ted says I'm cute. That's how a lot of people describe me, the cute kid. I'm 17 years old; 7 years too old to be called cute.

I've been "cute" all my life and I'm sick of it. Guys around here don't seem to want "cute". They want pretty and beautiful. If any guy from my school were to read this, they'd disagree. They'd say brains and personality count just as much, if not more, than beauty. But all the dumb beautiful girls are never without a boyfriend.

My father likes the idea of me not having a boyfriend. He says he doesn't have to hate anyone that way. When I asked what he meant by that he said he'll hate every boyfriend I'll ever have, but he'll adore the man I'll marry (as long as he treats me right). I guess all "Daddy's little girls" go through that. My mother said it's just not my time to have a boyfriend. I wonder when my time is going to be.

I read somewhere that you're suppose to love yourself before you can love someone else. Maybe I should try to love myself. I don't hate myself, but I don't like the cute part. No matter what I do, it's always there. I guess I should try to get use to it. After all, it is a part of me.