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Conflict Avoidance

Swedes tend to avoid conflicts in face to face discussions. In contrast to some other cultures, they seldom feel envigourated by confrontations and heated discussions. This is particularly true in situations where a Swede meets others alone, and not as part of a group - with a group’s support for expressing a certain point of view, nor in situations where a conflict is institutionalized, that is, where it is expected that a certain view will be stressed, for example, at a political meeting or a union meeting. Among Swedish academics, there are opportunities for confrontation, but the tendency for many years, has been to express criticism in such a way that the atmosphere of mutual sympathy can be maintained.
   I see Swede’s daily behaviour in all situations, as a striving for an environment of mutual understanding, cooperation at work (Ehn 1981, 1983), in private socializing between friends and acquaintances, contacts with neighbours, acquaintances as well as strangers (see Ehn 1982:15), chance meetings with strangers in public situations, on trains, at restaurants, etc.
   The social-anthropologist Ulf Hanners, who in a lecture discussed the Swedish mentality by analyzing several key words, refers to the strongly negative connotation of the word "bråkig" (troublesome, disorderly, noisy - in combination) (Hannerz 1983:11). Hannerz refers to the American author Susan Sontag (1969:26), who maintained that a show of aggression is tabuamong Swedes, and also quotes the Indian anthropologist H.S: Dhillon (1976):

...you have to be polite, not aggressive or obstinate. Therefore, anyone who gets into heated discussions is considered to be a worried and neurotic character... So much importance is placed on being in agreement, surprisingly enough. You don’t discuss, don’t cry, you put off a discussion until you come to a mutually agreed upon view.

From his experience in planning building and traffic systems in greater Stockholm since World War II, the American urban planner, Thomas Anton, comments on the spirit of cooperation between various political groups: "only a Swede, perhaps, can appreciate the political power that arises from the feeling of consensus" (Anton 1975:112).
   This cultural feature attributed by Anton to Swedes is not at all applicable to the North American culture, and possibly not to the rest of Europe outside of Scandinavia, but is, however, a part of Japanese culture. The Japanese religions, especially Buddhism, teach how to achive inner peace and balance, writes Hideo Kishimotot in an essay discussing several aspects of Japanese mentality. Maintaining calm is considered one of the most important virtues. Confucianism has also contributed to the holding in high esteem of an ability to not let out feelings of disturbance. Facial expressions should never show anger or sorrow, writes Kishimoto. "The so-called Japanese ’poker face’ typically symbolizes it. Japanese poker face is not due to any lack of emotion" (Kishimoto 1981:118) The latter also applies to Swedes, even if many foreigners have translated Swedes’ outer behaviour as evidence of emotional coldness.
   Hajime Nakamura, a well-known historian, maintains that harmony, accord, mutual understanding, has been the most important principle in Japanese history over the past few hundred years. As early as in Prince Shotoku’s (574-622) constitution, the importance of harmony and accord is mentioned. This constitution states that a sense of accord should exist between lords and servants, between the rulers and the lowly, among all people in general. Prince Shotoku’s message was not that people should obey at all costs, but rather that all discussions should take place in an atmosphere of harmony and accord, so that the right points of view could thereby be achieved. If you discuss with a feeling of harmony, not anger, difficult problems will spontaneously be solved in the right manner, it was said (Nakamura 1981:144). From the Japanese perspective, the Western cultures are "cultures of confrontation", writes the social-anthropologist Mikio Matsumoto (1984:152, see also Singer 1973).
   A key word in Swedish which expresses the positive attitude towards moderation and which is very similar to a comparable Japanese attitude is "lagom". The Japanese word "chuyo" has a similar meaning, "not too little, not too much", although this is purely a term in the written language. I have been told, hardly used in everyday’s speech - which is very much the case in Swedish language.

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