Reasons obesity is the biggest problem in our society.
1. Fat people cause destruction of the rainforests because the rainforest is slashed and burned for more farmland to feed cows for beef. Fat people eat excessively, thus consume more beef and lead to the loss of the rainforests.
2. Fat people are a direct cause of poverty in 3rd World countries. 3rd World countries are plauged by malnutrition, mainly because fat people eat up excessive amounts of food, leaving little to the rest of 3rd world countries.
3. The Theory on Conservation of Mass. Since Earth is a closed system, there is a set amount of mass in the world. Thus, fat people take up more mass then needed, leaving the rest of the world with less mass to distruibute. Thus, baby monkeys and adorable seals in the rainforests can't be born because the fat people have used up all the mass in the world.
4. They cause superficially high garment prices. Due to their large size, fat people require more thread in their clothes. This drives up prices on fabric and makes the rest of the world pay more for clothes.
5. Slow down rollercoasters. Fat people's heavy weight weights down rollercoastsers, ruining the genitalia feeling rollercoasters are intendeded to provide. Also, fat people force the rollercoasters companies to make many safety precautions so the fat people can fit in the seat.
6. They bring bad publicity to wholesome adult magazine publications. Since fat people get rejected from modeling at these fine institutions, they claim that the nude models are disgracing their bodies and degrading the female or male gender. But we know the real reason is that these fat people are jealous. So their complaining complicates society's ability to obtain such respectable adult magazines.
1. Create a machine that sucks up smog and nuclear waste and changes their molecular composition so they become gold or steaks or diamonds.
2. Remake "Desert Passion", one of the greatest romantic movies of our era.
3. Become either Chief Justice of the Supreme Court or Fed Chairman.
4. Meditate until I can move my scrotum into my kidneys.
5. Make bridges and tunnels over all the intersections of America so we never have to stop again while driving.
6. Bowl a perfect game in bowling.
7. Since I am Long Penis of the Sioux tribe, I would like tie bricks to my scrotum and throw the bricks of a bridge. This is a test of manhood and courage. Andrew Chen, Clitoris Mutilator of the Cherokee Tribe, will undergo this ritual with me.
If you would like to join the Avatar Society, please contact avatarswan@juno.com for an appication. Once the application passes a rigourous test, the applicant must undergo some basic Avatar tests, such as walking on fire or lifting a car. For an Avatar is a gift to society, so few have the abilites to become one!
AvatarSwan- The original Avatar has kept out society free of entropy with his courageous acts. He has the ability to fly, teleport instantenously anywhere in the galaxy, and can become invisible. But his greatest ability is his stunning good looks and potent fertility. This combination makes him a deadly force among both the male and female races.
AvatarVcky- This powerful Avatar possessed the ability to fly and turn back time (which has prevented many diasasters that you all will never know of). But her most envied power is supernatural metabolism, which keeps her in a voluptuous figure no matter what she eats. Amazing!
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