(Jessie's note: I'm a vegetarian, and this song makes me nearly pee myself laughing. I sang part of this for a theatre school audition.)
Come here my desperate tale
I speak of our friends of nature
Trapped in the dirt like a jail
Vegtables live in oppression
Served on out tables each night
This killing of veggies is madness
I say we take up the fight
Salads are only for murderers
Cole Slaw's a fascist regime
Don't think that they don't have feelings
Just cause a radish can't scream
I've heard the screams of the vegetables
Watching theirs skins being peeled
Grated and steamed with no mercy..
How do you think that feels?
Carrot juice constitutes muder..
Greenhouses prisons for slaves
It's time to stop all this gardening
Let's call a spade a spade.
I saw a man eating celery
So I beat him black and blue
If he ever touches a sprout again
I'll bite him clean in two
I'm a political prisoner
Trapped in a windowless cage
Cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips
By killing five men in a rage
I told the judge when he sentenced me
This is my finest hour..
I'd kill those farmers again
Just to save one more cauliflower
I've heard the screams of the vegetables
Watching theirs skins being peeled
Grated and steamed with no mercy..
How do you think that feels?
Carrot juice constitutes muder..
Greenhouses prisons for slaves
It's time to stop all this gardening
Let's call a spade a spade.
How low as people do we dare to stoop
Making our brocolies bleed in the soup?
Untie your beans,
Uncage your tomatoes
Let potted plants free,
Don't mash that potato!
(Spare the spud, eat a cow instead!)
I've heard the screams of the vegetables
Watching theirs skins being peeled
Grated and steamed with no mercy..
How do you think that feels?
Carrot juice constitutes murder..
Greenhouses prisons for slaves
It's time to stop all this gardening
Let's call a spade a spade.
Is a spade is a spade is a spade
Is a spade...
