Deployment
:Stages Of Deployment:
Pre-deployment (varies)
Deployment (1st month)
Sustainment (months 2 thru 5)
Re-deployment (last month)
Post-deployment (3-6 months after deployment)
:Stage 1 ~ Predeployment:
Anticipation of loss vs. denial
Train-up/long hours away
Getting affairs in order
Mental/physical distance
Arguments
:Stage 2 ~ Deployment:
Mixed emotions/relief
Disoriented/overwhelmed
Numb, sad, alone
Sleep difficulty
Security issues
:Stage 3 ~ Deployment:
New routines established
New sources of support
Feel more in control
Independence
Confidence ("I can do this")
:Stage 4 ~ Re-Deployment:
Anticipation of homecoming
Excitement
Apprehension
Burst of energy/"nesting"
Difficulty making decisions
:Stage 5 ~ Post Deployment:
Honeymoon period
Loss of independence
Need for "own" space
Renegotiating routines
Reintegrating into family
:Pitfalls:
Over-interpreting arguments
Hot topics/long distances
Rumors/loss of trust
Investment in date of return
Not accepting changes in marriage
:Helpful Hints:
Establish a base of support
Make plans to break up time
E-mail/phone calls/letters
Avoid overspending/alcohol
"Single" parents need time without kids
:Lessons Learned:
There are many challenges for military families to overcome during the five stages of deployment. Anticipating these challenges is important to minimize the emotional trauma caused by extended deployment. It is important not to over-interpret arguments which are often caused by the pain and loss of separation. Resolving marital issues that precede deployment is very difficult to accomplish over long distances and is probably best left until the soldier's return. Dates of departure and return often "slip" forwards and backwards. Establishing or maintaining a support network helps families cope. Rumors are hurtful and are best not repeated. If they cannot be resolved, then contact the chain of command to find out the truth or put a stop to them.
Breaking up the time is a useful technique to prevent being overwhelmed. This can include: weekly get-togethers with other families, monthly outings for the children (a favorite restaurant, the park, a picnic etc.), and a visit to, or from, parents and in-laws around mid-deployment just to name a few.
In order to maintain their sanity, parents - now "single" because of the deployment - will need time without their children. Scheduling a regular "Mommy's (Daddy's) day out" can be achieved by daycare or sharing sitting with someone you trust. Overspending or increased alcohol use may provide short-term relief; but in the long-term, they will only exacerbate the stress of deployment. Lastly, and most importantly, soldier, spouse and children will change and grow during the deployment. It is critical to go slow, be patient and allow several months to reestablish family bonds.
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