Title: 46 Grace 1996
Size: 30" x 40"
Description: Mixed Media Collage on canvas
Comments: This was the sixth in a series of the next group of paintings I used my own face. Now that my own face was on the canvas it was if I were spilling my “guts” on the canvas so that everyone would know who I am. It was unnerving to me painting myself in the same way I painted the generic pictures from magazines.
By the fifth painting I was a little more comfortable on how to alter my face. Still experimenting and stretching myself on how far I would go. Making sure that at least my eyes and mouth are still exposed and unaltered while having the freedom to do what I want with the rest of my face.
Here I am in a state of being forgiven. The mercy and grace from God is wonderful. Undeserved love is showered over me. Though I know that I deserve punishment I am receiving forgiveness. It is a picture of my Christian life with Jesus. Compassion, mercy, and forgiveness characterize this picture. This was a different one because I decided to use a generic face for “Grace”, than after it was done placing my eyes and mouth on top of the picture.
This was a different one because I decided to use a generic face for “Grace”, than after it was done placing my eyes and mouth on top of the picture.
Thinking about it now, I think I felt to unworthy to put my face on this painting because of underlying guilt and shame. I feel more comfortable condemning myself and not allowing grace to enter the picture of my life. And so it is easier to place someone else picture on the canvas. It shows how much more I need to go in healing.