Title: 44 Wicked Men 1996
Size: 30" x 40"
Description: Mixed Media Collage on canvas
Comments: This was the fourth in a series of the next group of paintings I used my own face. Now that my own face was on the canvas it was if I were spilling my “guts” on the canvas so that everyone would know who I am. It was unnerving to me painting myself in the same way I painted the generic pictures from magazines.
This was an appropriate next painting for me because each successive painting peels off another layer of who I am. Exposing the ugliness of who I really am.
Being addicted to pornography since I was in high school has made me realize my responsibility in the dehumanization of women in our society. Though I have been “dry” for over two years I know once an addict always an addict.
The spirits of pornography dancing around my head luring me to fall into that addiction once again call me from all sorts of media and commercials.
But the reality is that I am so emotionally and spiritually starved that this area does not really satisfy the void only made to be filled by God himself. God is beginning to fill that deep void of loneliness and pain. With the help of some dear friends I am on the road to recovery.