This interview took place in the realm of heaven, though it was unannounced, God kindly accepted to be interviewed on such short notice. What a nice guy! Hard to think a guy like him unleashed the 7 plagues, eh?
Solid Gold: So God, . . er, can i call you God, or do you like Lord of All? Mighty One? Hol . . .
God: "The Man" is fine . . .
SG: Really?
G: Just Joshing ya!!! God is fine with me.
SG: Ok . . Um so God, do you . . .
G: Yes
SG: Yes what?
G: Yes, to the question you were going to ask.
SG: Well, for the pur . . .
G: No
SG: Hold on a sec. . .for the purposes of this interview, should'nt we speak aloud so the other people can enjoy the interview too?
G: I reckon'.
SG: Ok good. So do you have any plans for the human race soon?
G: Besides turning you all into super human mutants, nothing too important.
SG: Are you serious?
G: Have you ever known me not to be?
SG: True. So what kind of mutant will I be?
G: You won't be a mutant.
SG: But you just said that soon you were gonna make us all Mutants!!
G: Now son, ya gotta understand, "Soon" for me is like 40 billion years.
SG: Ah yes of course.
G: Now Dolphins, thats where you'll be see'n a big change.
SG: Really?
G: Yeah, I think I'm gona make m' be able to talk in about a year or two.
SG: Oh wow.
G: Yeah, I kno . . . (At this time an Angelic being came and whispered into God's ear). . . Umm I can't say any more on that subject.
SG: Oh. . .kay well then, to move on: Which religion is the corret one?
G: You know the funny thing is? I don't even know anymore! (Laughs, unuseually hard)
SG: So you don't care which is right?
G: You know it may be the Puritans. . .no, maybe the Mormans. . .Buddist? Maybe. . . Ahh, I donno.
SG: Does that mean everyone is going to heaven?
G: No, if you piss me off your still going to hell.
SG: Ah yes good topic, what now-a-days is bad enough for hell?
G: Killing is still a major one, umm, Killing . . .
SG: You already said Killing.
G: Oh well, it's the only bad, bad one you need to worry about.
SG: While we're on the subject of hell, who is the most famous person down there, besides the Devil?
G: Besides Big D? Gee, I'd have to say, umm, Garth Brooks.
SG: He's still alive.
G: Oh . . . (Angelic being returns, whispers, and leaves) . . .I cannot speak anymore on that subject.
SG: I see. . . Who is that, that keeps talk'n to you?
G: My lawyer, Atticus.
SG: Oh I se. . wait a minuite, you mean Atticus from the book . . .
G: Yes
SG: Ah. So game shows must not be fun for you, being all-knowing and all.
G: Yeah it makes Survivor suck even more.
SG: Well, God, it has been great talking to you . .
G: The pleasure was all mine.
SG: Now before we go can i ask you for something?
G: Shoot.
SG: Can I have Escalaber?
G: Sure, why not? (POOF!)
SG: Wow, gee thanks God! Now I won't tell anyone you suck agian!
G: Good. And remember . . .I'm always watching you!!
This concludes the interview with God, if you have any questions or comments for him e-mail them to . . .
God#1@Suckmydick.com
