Ludicrous Speed
Words & Music by Mel Brooks, Kevin Smoley and Chris Wilkinson
Chords:
Gm Cm Am E
(N.C.)
"There's only one man who dare give me the raspberry. . . Lone Starr!"
(Chords begin)
"Hey, Chris."
"Yeah, Kevin?"
"Have you ever seen the movie Spaceballs?"
"I've heard of it before, but I don't think I've ever seen it."
"It's pretty good; you should see it."
"Oh, really? What's it about?"
"Well, let me tell you."
"Colonel Sandurz."
"What is it, Sgt. Rico?"
"You told me to notify you when Planet Druidia is in sight, Sir."
"Well?"
"Planet Druidia is in sight, Sir."
"You're really a Spaceball, you know that?"
"Thank you, Sir."
Chorus:
Vespa better look out
He's cruisin' at ludicrous speed
Dark Helmet's comin'
Comin' to plant his seed
President Skroob is going
To suck up all of our air
He'll destroy Planet Druidia
And he won't even care
"Careful, you idiot; I said across her nose, not up it!"
"Sorry, Sir, I'm doing my best."
"Who made that man a gunner?"
"I did, Sir; he's my cousin."
"Who is he?"
"He's and Asshole, Sir."
"I know that. What's his name?"
"That is his name, Sir—Asshole, Major Asshole."
"And his cousin?"
"He's and Asshole, too. Gunner's Mate First Class Philip Asshole."
"How many Assholes've we got on this ship, anyhow?"
"YO!"
"I knew it: I'm surrounded by Assholes!"
(Chorus)
(N.C.)
"So, what is it you do around here, Yogurt?"
"Merchandising."
"Merchandising? What's that?"
"Merchandising. Merchandising, merchandising—where the real money from the movie is made. Spaceballs the T-shirt, Spaceballs the lunchbox, Spaceballs the coloring book, Spaceballs. . .the flamethrower! Kids love this one. And my favorite, Spaceballs the Doll: me!"
"May the Schwartz be with you! "
(Chords resume)
(N.C.)
"And now Princess Vespa, I have you in my clutches, to have my wicked way with you, the way I want to. No, no, go away, I hate you! And yet... I find you strangely attractive. Of course you do! Druish princesses are often attracted to money and power, and I have both, and you know it! No, no, leave me alone! No, kiss me! No! Stop! Yes, yes! Oh, oh, oh! Ohhhh, your helmet is so big! "
(Chords resume, faster)
"Stop this thing."
"We can't stop. It's too dangerous. We have to slow down first."
"Bullshit! Just stop this thing. I order you! STOP!"
Back to the songs.
