Here is the place where I put all my stories.
www.angelfire.com/hero/derekswebsite/
buffman_derek@hotmail.com
PART: 1 The Introduction Buffman's Adventure series. STORY #1 (This story is not for kids under the age of 4 b/c they can't read this story any ways) "Derek! It is time to get up!" To Derek it seemed like another boring-nothing-will happen-kind-of-day. His mom calls him at 8:00 to get up and get out of his nice warm bed and come down to the kitchen to eat breakfast. To Derek it became a ritual. But what he doesn't know right now is that his archenemy Blubberbutt Bob is in town and he is planning a very evil plan. (You know, the kind that archenemy evil scientists think up in their over-sized evil brain.) So anyway, back to the present of the story. I am the narrator and I don't want to get ahead of myself. While Derek, who is also the strong and great looking super hero of the story, was getting ready to go down stairs to eat, he went into the bathroom and went to the mirror to look at his big muscles and great looks. (He did this every morning) When he was looking in the mirror, he remembered that he had a secret meeting with The VSGS corp. (which stood for, Very Secret Good Guy corp.) The meeting had something to do with a new mission of his. The guy who phoned last night didn't give him much info about the meeting so he had to just wait and see. After a few more minutes of flexing his big muscles in front of the mirror, he went down stairs for breakfast that his mom made.
"Wow! Bacon and eggs my favorite! Thanks Mom"
"You are welcome, it was my pleasure"
"Hey Mom, I am not coming home tonight until maybe two in the morning because of... um... My math tutor wants me to stay awhile longer after school."
"Okay Derek, That is a little later than you usually stay out after school but I will let you this time only because it is Friday."
"Thanks Mom, I am going to school now, bye"
THIS IS THE PART OF THE STORY WHERE YOU CAN GO TO THE WASHROOM OR GO GET SOME POP CORN AND YOUR FAVORITE DRINKˇK NOW BACK TO THE SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING. PART: 2 The Secret Meeting
Once Derek (AKA Buffman) got to the school and put his stuff in his locker. He got ready for school and then Derek looked at his high powered mini computer to see if he had any new messages, and found out he got one new message that was from VSGS Corp. It said that Blubberbutt Bob was probably leaving town soon and he was just here getting supplies. The message finished by saying hurry to the meeting ASAP. Derek went to his classroom to start school.
After school Derek quickly left school with his book bag so he could carry his super hero costume and he hurried to his secret meeting with the VSGS Corp. When he got to the secret base, he walked up to the control panel where people type in the password. He opened the doors to the base and then he walked into the building with the heavy metal doors slamming shut behind him. A few minutes later he walked into the room where the meeting was going to take place and he sat down into his assigned seat.
"Good afternoon Buffman, I am very pleased to see you here today because I have something to tell you that is very important."
"Stop the introductions Dr. Svenworth, just tell me the stuff you called me hear to hear, I am on a tight schedule...well acually I am not but you know what I mean"
"Okay buffman, I will tell you what you need to know, I would have asked Superman or even Batman to come here but Batman is on vacation and Superman has a severe wedgy from his tights and he wouldn't do good for this assignment I have." "So here is the information, Blubberbutt Bob is hear in the Yukon. A spy of mine last saw him in a multi- colored Viper that didn't have a license plate. My spy followed him to his secret base in Valleyview Alberta. It is a small town in the north of Alberta where gangsters and drugies go to try to get away from the police. His secret base is a farmhouse with a metal fence around it with a guard or two guarding it, the other one is usually asleep. "I want you to go to Valleyview and try to discover his plans and after you have done that, call us so we can come and get them." "You got that?"
"Yes I got that, but I need a few things to help me - like a car that I can drive and a license."
"We already got that for you and a whole lot more."
"Sweet" After awhile the meeting was done and Derek got all the information he needed, he and Dr. Svenworth went into the testing laboratory and the Doctor gave him the keys to the car and gave him a few very special weapons. Three cans of scented smoke, (extremely dangerous used for knocking someone out or a smoke screen that is very stinky.) A rubber chicken that is full of oil, (for making the bad guys slip and fall or blind them if shot into eyes), and a yo-yo of extremeness.
When Derek got his stuff he went to his sports car and got in. Then he said good bye to the doc and thanked him for the awesome weapons. When Derek was turning the car on, he discovered that it was high tech, and had a lot of buttons for lots of stuff. A few minutes later He went on his way toward Valleyview.
HERE IS ANOTHER WASHROOM BREAK. I HOPE YOU ARE ENJOYING THE STORY SO FAR. PART: 3 The Hide Out
Seventeen hours later he reached Valleyview and he suddenly remembered that it was 4:00am and he forgot to phone his mom to say that he had to go to Valleyview on an important mission. So he phoned her and she said that he should try to finish it as fast as he could. When the phone call was over he was in the middle of town and he went driving off to find Blubberbutt Bob's secret hide out. After a while of driving for a few hours trying to find the hideout, he came up to a road and a big sign that was in the shape of a arrow and the sign said THE HIGHEST CONCENTRATION OF GANGSTERS AND BAD GUYS THIS WAY! AND IF ANY SUPER HERO IS WONDERING, THIS IS ALSO THE WAY TO BLUBBERBUTT BOB'S SECRET HIDEOUT. After reading the sign and thinking for a few minutes, Derek came up with an idea that this road might take him to the hideout. When he got on the road he drove a few more minutes and then he saw this big farmhouse that looked ordinary enough except it had a metal fence around it and had two guardhouses. Derek knew the fence would be electrified because that's what evil scientist do to their fences. Also, the fence was hooked up to a power line so that's how he got a pretty good hint. Derek hid his car behind a popular tree that all the other trees think who's cool so the bad guys wouldn't see it. Then he quietly got out of the car. Once that was done Derek looked around for a phone booth so he could change into his super hero costume. He found one in the middle of the closest hay field 100 meters away. When he got there he opened the door of the phone booth and all of a sudden he heard a high pitched scream. After Derek stopped shaking from fright, he looked inside the booth and saw Superman changing into his suit.
"I am so sorry Mr. Kent sir, I didn't realize that you were in here."
"That's okay kid, I knew it was accident, and that's all that matters."
"My name is Buffman." Derek said "Don't call me kid"
"Okay kid, but why are you here? "I am supposed to be here to kick some blubbery butt of you know who, also I am so sorry to tell you this Mr. Kent, but the VSGG Corp has asked me to do this mission and they said that you were injured because of a wedgy." buffman said politely
"I was injured but now I am feeling a lot better, I now only have a big bruise on my tootsie, its not bleeding anymore"
"I guess the Corp has said you were still injured is because they think I am a better super hero and they think I am way stronger and way nicer looking for the reporters when they take my picture for the newspaper."
"I also have a way better smile." *does a very shiny grin for the readers of this story*
"Well okay, I guess I will be leaving now." *Superman fly's away*
"Hey Superman! You forgot your tights!" "All well, I guess it is more comfy and more cooler without them." After changing and getting rid of Superman's tights, Buffman walked quietly and very sneakily up to Blubberbutt's fence. After that Buffman took out a bottle of scented smoke, once he had it in his good but gentle grip, he through it at the closest guardhouse. After waiting 10 seconds to let the smoke penetrate the guardhouse and knock out the guard, he went up to it and opened the door to get the keys from the guard. So he could open the gate and shut off the electricity to the fence so he wouldn't become fried KFC chicken. (Low fat of course) With the keys he would be able to shut off the alarm so he wouldn't set off the alarm and giving a small hint to the bad guys that there was a going to be intruder.
I KNOW THAT THESE BREAKS ARE GETTING ANOYING BUT I HAVE TO HAVE CHAPTERS IN MY STORY AND THIS IS WHERE I TAKE A BREAK FROM TYPING.
PART 4: The Secret Lab
Once Derek was done shutting off the electricity and unlocking the door 30 minutes went by, (hey! It is very hard to put a small odd shaped object in a small hole while you a nervous.) Buffman went up to the door of the house with the rubber chicken in a holster and the other weapons in his pockets to ask if he can have a tour of the house. (I forgot to tell you, bad guys are very nice if you ask them to do something in a polite way.)
When he was in the house and almost done the tour, and never seen anything very exciting except two bad guys watching a soap opera in the living room they came up to the last door in the house, which was a closet. The door had a sign on it that said COME IN HERE AT YOUR OWN RISK!
"I can't believe this!" yelled Buffman "I toured the whole house to see nothing of interest except two freaky guys crying over a soap opera and a closet!" "What did you think I wanted to see, cleaning supplies and a mutant broom!ˇ¨
All of a sudden, the bad guys grabbed Buffman and gagged him with a dirty old farm sock and tied up his hands with the yo-yo they found in his pocket and they took his rubber chicken away from him, they also took his cans of smoke. (Can they do this to him? Take all of his weapons that he worked so hard to smuggle into the house! Sorry for saying bad guys were nice, was wrong, I guess they were just expecting him some how and was pretending to be nice.)
Once they had Buffman under control, they reached into the closet and pulled a secret lever, which turned out to be the mutant looking mop. A Door opened up to reveal some stairs leading down to a room that looked just like a secret lab with a black lab crossed with a poodle kind of dog walking around down there. That was all Buffman could remember because all of a sudden he felt a burning sensation at the back of his head. PART 5: The Blubber Machine!
When The super hero of this story woke up, he found himself strapped tightly on a cold metal testing table of some sort. (The kind evil scientists do their evil experiments on.) Covering his head was a metal hat. (It had to match the table of course.) The metal hat had all these different colors of wires and weird looking things coming out of it. There were also creepy hunched-backed scientists with those stickers everybody hates that said HELLO MY NAME IS Mr. SO AND SO. The scientists were working on machines everywhere in the lab and everybody looked really busy and that made Buffman nervous.
"Hey Buffman! How do you like my new blubber machine!?!"
"Oh Darn," thought Buffman, "It is Blubberbutt Bob!"
"So Blubberbutt, What is this contraption you got me hooked up too do."
"It is a simple concept Buffman, all it does is make you weak and fat and that's what I am going too do to you! Yelled Blubberbutt Bob excitedly "I am jealous of your great strength and good looks so I am going to make you fat just like me!" After laughing to himself for a few moments, Bob turned towards the power button and pushed it. But the machine never turned on.
"What the heck is wrong with this stupid machine!" screamed Bob "Why doesn't it work!"
"Sir, you forgot to put a quarter in the machine to make it work" A shy worker spoke up.
"Oops"¨ * cough cough! * "I guess I forgot," said Blubberbutt Bob
Blubberbutt reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a nickel to turn on the machine.
"Tim can you lend me 20 cents." Once he had enough money he started the machine" but it was a little too late because when Blubberbutt was yelling at the people, Buffman the hero of the story was thinking hard of a way to escape. But he was just about to give up when he remembered that he forgot to take out the garbage yesterday and if he could ever escape this predicament he probably won't be able to get away from his angry mom. The weird part of this is that the garbage somehow reminded him that he never locked the car and that reminded him he should do it before he gets to fat to move. So Buffman reached into his pocket and snagged the keys on his finger and he brought them out of his pocket. Once he did that he saw that this key chain was different than other key chains, he saw that this one had the option of a laser on it or an option of turning his car into a huge rabbit! (At first he thought the car could turn into an rabbit if you push the button on the key chain, but then he discovered he had the key chain upside down so he turned it around then the picture beside the button was a robot. And guess what? he picked the robot option.) Once Buffman figured out that you control the robot by voice, he gained 5 pounds...make that 8 pounds now. (At first the bad guys thought Buffman was crazy because he was talking to a set of keys but then they remembered that Buffman's arm isn't supposed to be free so they got a bit angry.)
When Buffman found out that his arm was becoming bigger and started to be baggy he began to worry. Two scientists were running up to Buffman when suddenly there was a loud noise and the two bad guys turned around to see two big metal legs, They thought that was weird so they looked up and they fainted. Too all of the other bad guys surprise, they all seen this giant robot with glowing crimson eyes and very sharp teeth While all the bad guys were stunned from shock, Buffman took this time to cut his restraints with the laser and get up to get his stuff. Once he got his old weapons back, he set the robot on automatic so it would do whatever Buffman said without talking into the key chain. Buffman was getting tired of that any ways.
"Hey Robo!, Grab all of the bad guys you can and put them in little cages so we can keep them here intill the police and VSGG Corp gets here to put them in the slammer" said Buffman Buffman gets his rubber chicken from its holster and looks into the scope and fires at a bad guy and the bad guy slips on the oil to be picked up by Robo.
After a few more shots from Buffman The rubber chicken ran out and the cans of stinky smoke were all gone, all that was left was his cool key chain laser or the yo-yo of extremeness. Buffman didn't really get what it does but he found out soon enough. A few seconds later a bad guy bumped into Buffman trying to get away from Robo. Buffman then did a spin kick to the guy and made him fly backwards a few meters but before the guy went out of reach the yo-yo hit the guy in the shoulder. All of a sudden there was a loud electronic voice coming from the yo-yo and it said: This is the song that never ends It just goes on and on my friends! I just started singing it not knowing what it was, but then I just kept on singing it forever just because it is the song that never ends! Etc.
"Ahhhh!" screamed Buffman "what have I done!"
hey Robo! Let's finish up here and then lets leave so I don't get a headache, and let's leave the yo-yo to keep these bad guys company while they wait for the police." PART 6: The conclusion :(
When Derek was almost home it was two days later because he had to stop at a hotel the night before to get some much-needed sleep. Also when he left Blubberbutts house he had to go shopping for a present for his mom so she won't be that angry when he came home because he forgot to take out the garbage. (Blubberbutt was caught by Robo trying to hide behind his blubber machine. He was taken to jail.)
When Derek got home, he went to put the present he bought for his mom on the table and he took out the garbage. Then he went to play some x-box for awhile.
Derek and his family lived happily ever after, Intill the next day anyways...
STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT EPOSODE OF BUFFMAN ADVENTURES WHEN HE AND HIS OTHER ARCHENEMY THE GINGER BREAD MAN FIGHT ON THE GINGER BREAD BRIDGE IN THE EVIL GINGER LAND! DON'T MISS IT!
