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ID: paran0rmal_grl
PASSCODE: shinigami
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COMMAND: open operation
OPERATION: Hentai Igloo
Opening...
Operation: Hentai Igloo opened. Have fun, para-chan.
WARNINGS: 1x2x1; 3x4x3; Slight language; igloos; discontinuity; randomness; silliness; Multiple Changes of POV; OOC.
CHALLENGES:
LINES:
"Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again."
"When in Rome, do as the Romans do".
"Some people think that she's one of those mink-coated ladies"
"Who really put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop?"
"Hand over the cheese whiz!"
"But I don't WANNA go to camp..."
"Well maybe you don't think it's fun, but I sure do."
"Who was hotter, Paul or George?"
"Now come on, Heero... that position *can't* be very comfortable..."
"If it's not broke, don't fix it."
"Well, if you won't, I'll just find someone ELSE to practice on..."
OBJECTS:
a set of headphones
a bottle of super-strength glue
a plastic pen shaped like a goldfish
a kiwi
eyeliner
a Hawaiian T-shirt
COMMENTS: Part 01 by Shinigami, Part 02 by CyAn, Part 03 by SkyEye, Part 04 by Goat, Part 05 by para, Part 06 by author TBA.
* * *
Operation: Hentai Igloo Part 05
* * *
"Now come on, Heero... that position *can't* be very comfortable..."
“Hn.”
His koi shrugged and went back to tying off some threads. The purple-parka’d OZzie wiggled his fingers desperately, the only parts of his body still mobile. Heero scowled, crossing his arms over his chest. How to make the fingers stop moving as well…hmmmm…
“Duo?”
“Mm-hmm?” Duo mumbled around a mouthful of DMC floss. [1]
“Do you still have those kiwis?”
“K’w’s? Yuss. Ova dere.” He jerked his head over at his pack and continued to separate the threads so he could continue his embroidery. Heero glared at the OZzie, climbed over him and dug around. Wufei poked his head in from outside.
“Yuy, what are you doing?”
“I decided to try my hand at sculpture.”
Wufei looked from him, to the soldier, to the happily sewing Duo, and back to Heero again. "When in Rome, do as the Romans do, I suppose." Heero pulled the kiwis from Duo’s pack and grinned.
***
“Ok now, tell me: Who *really* put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop? I know you know!”
My teammates are insane.
Heero has used everything from kiwis to eyeliner to the only BLACK Hawaiian shirt I’ve ever seen and an entire bottle of ten-ton epoxy to immobilize the OZzie he brought back. [2] Oh, Duo got first chance at him, but stupid as the guy is – I mean, wandering around wearing a PURPLE parka in a snowfield when you’re supposed to be part of a SECRET base? BAKAYAROU. – he managed to hold out long enough for Duo to get bored.
"Who was hotter, Paul or George? You gotta have an opinion on this!!"
However, once the poor idiot had been turned into a living sculpture…
"Heero, hand over the cheese whiz!"
Duo regained interest. The two of them have been blithely torturing him for hours now. I’m sure once they take the goldfish pen out of his mouth he’ll tell us anything we want to know…
“Wufei! C’mon! Jooooiiiiiiiiiiiin uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus…..jooooooooiiiiiiiiiiiiiin uuuuuuuuuuuuuuus! It’s fun!”
“Fun?”
"Well maybe you don't think it's fun, but I sure do."
“No, Maxwell. I’ll take a turn later.”
If this goes on much longer, I’m going to kill them both.
***
“Ready to talk now?”
Duo sat cross-legged on his sleeping bag wrapped in a thermal blanket and snugged his headphones down on his ears better. After four hours of questioning, Wufei had finally snapped. Heero had stomped out, and was currently patrolling in hopes of finding more OZzie scum to torment. Still not feeling all that great, he’d stayed behind, sulking in the comfort of his discman.
"Some people think that she's one of those mink-coated ladies…" the headphones sang softly in his ears.
“Yes! YES! ANYTHING! Just don’t let them near me!”
“Good. What kind of research is being done at the base?”
“We’re trying to improve and control the quality of snow so Mr. Treize can go skiing any time of the year, anywhere he wants.”
“That’s IT???” Duo blurted. Wufei shot him a glare over his shoulder. Duo stuck his tongue out.
“You’re lying.”
“NO! NO! I SWEAR!! IT’S THE TRUTH!!”
"But I don't WANNA go to camp..." a shrill voice whined painfully. The OZzie whimpered and attempted to cover his ears, forgetting that his hands were currently tied to his ankles by a Hawaiian shirt. Duo and Wufei exchanged looks of horror as Heero bolted into the igloo and began piling everything he could find in front of the entrance.
“Is that…?”
A fierce nod.
“It can’t be…!”
Shake of the head. More stuff piled in front of the entrance.
“How’d…”
“She’s delirious and she STILL followed me home!!! FUCK!!”
“Well, you know Heero… Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again. She’s done it before…" Wufei mused. Heero checked the clip on his gun, then checked the quick-load clip as well.
“You’re not helping, Wufei.” Duo pushed his headphones down around his neck so he could hear better. Something pink-sounding thumped into the outer wall of the igloo accompanied by muffled whining. Suddenly re-inspired, he grinned. ‘If it's not broke, don't fix it! Why waste a perfectly good opportunity?’ he thought to himself, turning to the hapless OZzie once again.
"Well, if you won't cooperate, I'll just find someone ELSE to practice on..." [3]
***
Ninmu Kanryou.
***
NOTES:
[1] DMC floss – a popular brand of embroidery and counted-cross-stitch floss.
[2] ten-ton-epoxy was the strongest glue I could think of.
[3] had to add a word for it to make sense…does that still count?
* * *
COMMENTS: I think I’ve lost it…I can’t believe I used all the lines and objects…sorry, this is wicked short…and distinctly non-citrusy. Gomen, but I just can’t seem to write citrus at the moment. I think E-chan is with my cat, wherever SHE is…
COMMAND: Collect C&C [Ongoing command]
Commence with next command.
CHALLENGE:
LINES:
“When the whippoorwill whistles in the wind, the wind may whistle back, oh nice and chubby baby!”
“Always know where your towel is.” (my tribute to Douglas Adams)
“Screaming like a girl then running like hell is always a viable option, you know.”
“Did you ever wonder why abbreviation is such a long word?”
OBJECTS:
hi-bounce balls (the more, the better!! Can’t have too many!)
Silly Putty
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NEXT USER: Imo-chan
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