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ID: Shinigami
PASSCODE: shinigami
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Entrance Granted. Welcome, Shinigami.
COMMAND: open operation
OPERATION: Hentai Igloo
Opening...
Operation: Hentai Igloo opened. Have fun, Shinigami.
WARNINGS: 1x2/2x1; Wufei torture; igloos; randomness; silliness
COMMENTS: Part 01 by Shinigami; Part 02 author TBA

* * *

Quatre sat quietly at the white grand piano situated haphazardly in the foyer of his mansion. He contemplated the sheet music in front of him, the way Trowa can see with his hair like it is, and the meaning of life. So far, he had very few answers. He knew the sheet music was not satisfactory, and the meaning of life is undoubtedly forty-two. The second question, however, had him stumped.

His quiet moment was interrupted when Duo, clad only in boxers and a pair of worn Mickey Mouse ears, dodging various antique furniture items and mission reports made his way, laughing, through the previously silent foyer. Previously clean as well, but Quatre didn’t want to think about that right now.

Duo was doing quite well in his escapade, until he tripped over a well-used and worn hardcover copy of War and Peace jammed under the corner of the couch. Trowa stared from the other doorway (Not the one Duo came in from, not the one he was heading toward. There’s like 4 doors into the foyer.) at Duo, who was doing a fairly good double front flip. He seemed to be having a bit of trouble executing the landing, and would have surely broken something (bone or furniture) had Heero not been in just the right spot at just the right time to catch Duo and save him from certain doom.

The surprised look on Duo’s face matched the one on Heero’s, and the latter shrugged and deposited the former on the aforementioned couch with a disapproving “Hn.” He elaborated after a momentary pause, during which he actually looked at Duo and realized just what he was wearing. He raised one eyebrow and said “Duo...?”

Duo flushed faintly under the scrutiny from his fellow pilot, and managed a wide grin. “Well, ya see, Hee-chan, Wu-man was lookin’ through a box of stuff in the attic and he came across this hat here,” he pointed to the hat sitting lopsidedly on his head. He then continued. “And Wu-man took it out of the trunk and put it on and all, and I thought it was really funny, yanno, Mr. Justice-Boy Extraordinaire, sitting there playing dress-up with a bunch of clothes and stuff that belonged to Kat sometime.”

Quatre looked up at Duo at the mention of his name, and raised both eyebrows. “Uhm, Duo, how do you figure that those clothes belonged to me?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“Well, to tell ya the truth, I was stumped for a while, but then I noticed that your name was stitched into the front of the hat,” Duo answered, a bit sarcastically, but smiling the whole time, to show that there were no hard feelings. It was now Quatre’s turn to flush. Trowa shook his head and rolled his visible eye, then headed off to the kitchen.

He had barely made it two steps before Wufei, charging down the hallway at top speed, knocked him back into the room from which he was trying to escape. “Injustice! Maxwell! There is no honorificabilitudinity in this childish act! You shall pay dearly for this, by Nataku, you shall PAY! As long as there are flowers existing in this world, you shall be held accountable for your actions... and the flowers are still standing!”

Duo let out a soft “eep” and cowered behind Heero. Heero unconsciously moved into a strategic defensive position, making sure he had a clear path to a door and that he could grab Duo on the way to aforementioned door. After hearing Wufei’s new justice speech, Heero was troubled. /All that for a hat? I would never allow this lunatic to harm Duo./ Speaking for the first time sonce Wufei’s sudden and noisy arrival, he got the attention he had wanted. “Wufei. You sir, are a moron. Never speak again.” With that, he helped Duo up and walked out of the room, Duo following behind.

Wufei glowered at the others’ retreating backs, then unexpectedly produced a Magic 8 Ball and hurled it at them. “Nataku shall see that justice and honorificabilitudinity are served.” He bowed down low and left the room, not even noticing confused looks from Trowa and Quatre, the death glare from Heero, and the befuddled expression on Duo’s face as he collapsed, unconscious.

“I think he’s going off to worship Nataku or something now,” said Quatre, still very confused about the whole ordeal. And to think he had just been trying to figure out the answer to question number two. Trowa shook his head in disgust from where he lay on the floor.

“Wufei, a hard-on does not count as personal growth.” Wufei stalked back to the dorrway and glowered some more, daring Trowa to clarify his sentence. “We all know just how you ‘worship’ Nataku, Wufei. Don’t try to hide it.” Wufei lifted his foot and started to kick the sense out of the unibanged boy, but was stopped by a glare from Quatre. He settled for a verbal strike.

“Fuck you, Trowa.” He then proceeded to calmly walk out the door again, once more oblivious to the expression changes going on behind him. Quatre’s facial expression went from surprised, to angry, to sad, to embarrassed, to angry, to furious, and finally decided on Zero system Quatre. Quatre practically lept across the room, tackling Wufei and throttling him, banging his head on the ground.

“Never...” Thump. “Say...” Thump. “That...” Thump. “To...” Thump. “Him...” Heero watched in amazement from the opposite doorway, from which he had just come from after getting an ice bag for Duo’s head.

Wufei sputtered, trying to say something. Quatre finally figured this out and loosened his grip a miniscule amount. “Okay, okay! I take it back! Unfuck you, Trowa!” Satisfied, Quatre went back to his piano bench and sat down, allowing Wufei time to escape to the hanger in which the Gundams were stored.

Heero blinked, then shrugged and once more helped Duo up. Duo staggered, feeling lightheaded, so Heero picked him up and headed for the nearest door. He stepped through and pulled it shut after him. Abdul, a Manguanac who had come investigating the loud banging he heard from the basement, looked at the retreating boys, slightly confused. “Ummm... That’s the closet...”

* * *

COMMAND: Collect C&C
Ongoing command... Commence with next command.
CHALLENGE: Line- “With the lights out, it’s less dangerous.”; Object- a plastic Halloween scythe and/or the Matrix DVD
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