Teacher’s First Love

-Azusa-

I was fifteen when I first fell in love. I was an awkward girl growing up. My mother and I had just moved from the countryside. Even then, I wasn’t a social girl. I rarely had the time. Ever since dad left us, mom worked most of the week. As a result, I stayed home alone. The move to the city threw me off. What made it worse was she expected me to become a social butterfly.

“This isn’t good for a girl like you to be locked away from the world,” she told me. She didn’t even give me the right tools to be sociable. I hid mostly in the library between classes. I didn’t expect to have friends or a boyfriend at fifteen. That was until I saw him.

He didn’t belong in my lonely nerdy circle. To me, he looked like a god. He could do no wrong in my eyes. I first saw him in fiction section of the library. I am still hazy on how it happened. I think I was looking for a classic when I spotted him on the other side of the bookcase. His eyes, cool and brown, made me freeze.

“Hello?” he whispered. I couldn’t speak that day.

“Uh…” I murmured.

“Are you okay?” he asked. I moved my head between shaking and nodding.

“Hello?” he asked again. After about two minutes, he walked away. I ended up curing myself.

It was that moment where I had to suck it up.  However, I couldn’t do it alone.

“Mama,” I said that evening. “Teach me how to talk to boys.” She looked like she would fly through the ceiling.

“Of course!” she said. Her enthusiasm crept me out like it still does now.

“Okay…”

She put her arms around my shoulders. “Come with me!” We talked at the kitchen table. I thought my poor head would explode.

“Can you please slow down?” I pleaded. My mother giggled.

“Sorry, honey,” she said. I had never seen her chatty before. Usually mom was too busy to talk. Tonight, sheesh!

“Okay,” I said at last. “Good night.” I ran all the way to bed. In the end, I didn’t use her advice. Yep, I was on my own.

It took weeks for me to gather up the courage to talk to him. I didn’t even know what he looked like. Maybe, it was the foolishness inside of me, but I had hoped that I would know when I saw him. Just before spring break, I got my chance. I happened to walk into the library during my lunch break and froze. He sat at a table with his friends. I moved without thinking. Before I knew it, I came up to his table. He and his friends stared at me. Maybe I should run? What if he’s out of my league? He might already have a girlfriend. Still, I pursued him anyway.

“Hi!” I yelped. “I’m Azusa!” I didn’t have time to think about what I had said. It was too late to take it back. He turned to me with a curious look on his face.

“Do I know you?” he asked.

“No!” I yelped. I couldn’t stop talking. I wanted to close my mouth, but something inside wouldn’t let me. To my surprise, it actually… worked.

He turned out to be a nice guy and we talked for most of the summer. In the end, mom and I moved away again. I was crushed then, but you know something? I barely remember what we were talking about or what his name was. I bet he’s married now. All I remember is his cool brown eyes. I see them in Hideki-kun and Ryo-kun today.