By Rhyianna Merquise

AN: Hey Look! It’s Midii’s POV during "The Dangling Conversation"! I probably should have written this one right after that, but hey, no one has ever accused me of being overly-intelligent…

Warnings: Angst demon.

Disclaimer: If I owned them, Midii would have been in the anime. Oh, and the song "The Rose" belongs to Bette Midler.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Someone once asked me if you could change one thing in the world, what would it be. I didn’t have an answer then, but I do now. I’d change the world so Trowa didn’t have a heart of stone, the heart of a soldier. I’d change the world so he could feel love.

I truly believed that one day the walls around Trowa’s heart would crumble and he would be able to love me. "Even hearts of stone can break," I told myself. I was wrong. Hearts of stone don’t break.

So now we sit in our kitchen in the late afternoon, watching the sunset flit through the sheer curtains and create a spectrum of color around the room, drinking luke-warm coffee.

I can feel him watching me, so I raise my eyes to him and offer a weak smile. He looks back at me with those gorgeous green eyes of his, but eyes that show no trace of feelings. Eyes are windows to the soul, the poets wrote. I saw nothing in Trowa’s. I didn’t want to think about what that meant.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Some say love, it is a river

That drowns the tender reed

Some say love, it is a razor

That leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love, it is a hunger

An endless aching need

I say love, it is a flower

And you, it’s only seed

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sometime later, Trowa and I wound up in the living room, sprawled out on various pieces of furniture. He picks up some form of a book of the table, and I try and lose myself in a romance novel.

Tears begin to trickle down my cheeks as I read it, and again, I can feel Trowa’s eyes on me. He probably thinks I’m crying because of some poetic words scrawled on paper. I’m not. I’m crying because I know I’ll never have the love in my life that the characters are lucky enough to.

Forcing myself to keep my tears at bay, I try and act like I’m reading again. Trowa seemed to buy the act, or he just chose to ignore my tears, because I can’t feel his eyes boring holes into me again.

After another half an hour, I cannot bear to read anymore about the romance we all dream of, but few ever experience. Closing my eyes, and my book, I reach for the paper rose bookmark Trowa made me. I love roses. I love Trowa. Not for the first time, I damn the war that did this to him.

Standing up and moving in front of him, I bid him goodnight before leaning down and softly catching my lips on his for a moment.

"Good night, Midii," he replied, before running his slender hand through my hair and smiling slightly at me. "Have sweet dreams, Little One," he said softly.

I’m surprised at the affection. Maybe…my mind whispers… and I wait momentarily for the three words I want to hear more than anything. But they never come, so I pull back, give him a fake smile, and walk away.

As soon as I’m safely in our room, I drop the façade and let the tears come. I cry for myself, for the love I’ll never experience, and for Trowa and for the love he’ll never be able to feel.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It’s the heart afraid of breaking

That never learns to dance

It’s the dream afraid of waking

That never takes the chance

It’s the one who won’t be taken

Who cannot seem to give

And the soul, afraid of dying

That never learns to live

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I’m not quite sure what awakened me the next morning, but as soon as my eyes opened, I knew something was wrong. Trowa wasn’t beside me, for one. The apartment felt…empty, somehow. When I sat up and looked around, I knew why. In Trowa’s place beside me in the bed, were a note and a single white rose. I gently pick the rose up and look at it absently, dreading what the note would say.

Taking a deep breath, I reach my hand down to pick up the single sheet of paper.

I know you love me. I wish I could say the same. Have a happy life, Little One.

Trowa

Oh God. Instantly, my shoulders being to tremble and tears fall on my cheeks. He left me…

All on their own, memories from the past begin to surface in my mind…

…"Really, Midii… it’s not that hard. All you have to do is twist the tissue paper a little more and you’ll have a perfect paper rose…"

He left me… he left me… he left me…

I close my eyes and fall backwards onto his pillow. Burying my face in it, I sob, overwhelmed with sorrow. He left me…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When the night

Has been too lonely

And the road

Has been too long

And you think that love is only

For the lucky and the strong

Just remember in the winter

Far beneath the bitter snows

Lies the seed that with the sun’s love

In the spring becomes the rose

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

If I could change one thing in this world, what would it be? I changed my answer. I want Trowa back.

Now it instantly didn’t matter that he didn’t, and might not be able to ever love me. He used to be here. It suddenly didn’t matter that his eyes showed no traces of emotion anymore. At least he was there, damn it!

I damned the war that did this to him. Damned the war that took away his emotions. Damned the war that took him away from me.

He left me…

@)~~~~~)~~~~~ ~~~~~(~~~~~(@

Fin!