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Adventures in Babysitting


The 5 G-boys peered at the mysterious package which had been delivered.  It was small, about the size of a baseball, and shaped in a square.  After poking and prodding at it for several minutes, they elected Heero as the best candidate to open it . . . him being indestructible and all.

To their surprise, once the box had been opened, it began to emit a beeping sound.  Three guns, 1 sword, and one bazooka rifle was drawn . . . All of them gawked at Quatre, who merely smiled beatifically and gently patted the hardware . . . Even Heero looked impressed (mildly, faintly . . .maybe  . . . not)

The box, humming faintly, began to spew out a long piece of paper .  Trowa bent to pick it up and began to read.

"From, Dr. J.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to infiltrate a nursery school.  Yes, a nursery school. . . Stop staring at me like that . . . I mean it!!  *cough* There you will volunteer as helpers and watch over your assigned classes for today.
oh and this message will self-destruct in 5
 . . .all read in Trowa's usual deadpan style.  Quatre grabbed Trowa as all boys ducked for cover.  As they dove, the box exploded in a fantastic array of  . .
 . . .confetti and multi-covered jelly beans.

" . . . ." was the mutual assent from all G-boys.

Duo tugged thoughtfully at his braid and muttered, " Oyaji must be sniffing the gundam again . . ."

So off they went . .

Heero glared stonily at the toddlers.  They stared back, wide-eyed but equally unimpressed.  After several minutes of this, in which the temperature dropped at least 10 degrees, the children shrugged and went back to playing.  Heero leaned against the desk in the front of the room, unsure of whether to speak out or to run screaming for the nearest exit. . . One child started bawling, and he fixed it with an evil glare.  Apparently, the building the creature had been creating with his legos had fallen apart.  Spandex boy, soon coming to the bright conclusion that glaring wouldn't solve the problem, walked over.  After carefully analyzing the structure, base, and general composition of the legos, he quickly and efficiently began to build a house.  It was a work of wonder.  It had hot and cold running water, a Jacuzzi, and even a fountain.  The children came over to gawk and immediately began besieging him with requests for more, swarming over the stiff boy in their eagerness.  Heero eyeballed them rather warily before complying . . . this wasn't so bad. . .
Duo grinned and bounced into the room, his braid swaying back and forth behind him.  The children sized him up quickly.  Hmmm, smiling eyes and mouth, relaxed, looks fun enough . . . They immediately tackled him.  Duo laughed and gamely joined in.  Eventually, a big ball of giggling and tussling children rolled all around the room.  Occasionally, Duo's head would pop up, more for air than anything else, but he was quickly dragged back in.  Soon, the entire room was a mess.  Stuffed animals and toys thrown all about, poster paint splattered all over  . . .It was hard to tell who was having more fun, Duo or the kids.


Trowa found himself in much the same situation as Heero had.  He and the children traded rather wary stares.  Children laughing and screaming at the circus, he could understand.  But they were right there . . . staring at _him_, waiting . . . for what?  Nervously, although you couldn't tell from looking at him, he began to grab the nearest objects around him, a diaper, eraser, and a chubby toddler, and began to juggle the objects around and around.  They were absolutely mesmerized by the display, not in the least of which one of their classmates was currently being rotated at the speed of spin cycle.  Soon, a crowd of toddlers had gathered at Trowa's feet, begging to be juggled.  Trowa briefly sweatdropped.  This wasn't exactly what he had planned, but he, as a gundam pilot, he was flexible . . .


Quatre beamed cheerfully at the children.  Being the youngest child within a group of 29 giggling feminine siblings, he didn't know quite how to handle a group of toddlers.  He frowned briefly in concentration . . . what games had he enjoyed as a child?

Meanwhile, the children were fascinated  by the golden haired boy who had appeared in their midst.  As the sunlight hit his hair *just* so, they started whispering amongst themselves.  Finally, one child cried out . . . "He look 'zactly like my Barbie doll!!!"

Quatre briefly sweatdropped. . . He could have sworn that they were eyeing him rather strangely . . . and why were some of them holding out pink . . . clothes?  Before he could process that thought, the surprised pilot was grabbed by a swarm of children.  Squawks of indignation and surprise came from the midst of that heap, not to mention his khaki pants . . . pink shirt and vest. . .


Chang Wufei was not happy . . . This "mission" that the daffy prof. had assigned them to was nothing more than an insult to his dignity.  Wufei did _not_ babysit, he simply did not _do_ the diaper years.  He held himself stiffly and began to practice his katas, blatantly ignoring the stares and whispers of the children behind him.  After watching him for several minutes, the more bolder children got up and began imitating him.

Wufei ignored his followers as long as he could.  But their small frustrated cries at being unable to follow him, smacking each other accidentally, and tripping over their own feet was hard to ignore.  Finally with a small puff and a hint of a smile, he began correct their posture and  stances.


With a huff, the supervisor made her rounds of the school.  The 5 new volunteers had looked so promising, but they had never shown up at the end of the school day.  She decided to peer into the assigned rooms.  She alternately facefaulted and sweatdropped at the sight before her eyes.

In room 1, Heero was stoically putting the finishing touches .  . . on a lego gundam, complete with saber sword and wings.  The children stood in awe, occasionally making comments about a detail here and there.

In room 2, all she could make out was the vague outline of a multitude of sleeping bodies.  Duo was lying peacefully on the bottom of the pile, one child tucked under each of his arms.  Another next to his head, sucking thoughtfully on his braid.  Yet another was vigorously gnawing at the pilot's ankle, while two more children slept on Duo's stomach.  All were quietly sleeping, worn out by their play.

In room 3, the children were spinning dizzily.  Bouncing off one another, the walls, the furniture, they giggled madly.  Trowa was currently attempting to juggle 5 screaming toddlers at the same time.  He had a faintly pained look on his face.

In room 4, she goggled at the sight.  Quatre, with strained smile, was dressed in a pink taffeta dress and blonde wig.  He was engaged in a tea party with the toddlers.  For some reason, they kept calling him Barbie . . .

In room 5, her jaw dropped to the ground.  It appeared as if Wufei had converted the classroom into a dojo.  All the children had drawn their hair into tight painful looking ponytails.  They chorused "Hai, sensei" after every phrase he uttered. . .

She staggered back to her office and took a swig of Jack Daniels which she kept hidden in a drawer for just this purpose.  She then groaned and lay her head in her hands.  Young people these days . . .


Duo laughed and bounced into their shared apartment, chatting excitedly about all the friends he had made.  Wufei and Heero stared at each other before shrugging, Duo's mind was a strange one to figure out.  At a rattling sound, they stared suspiciously at Heero.  His pants were suspiciously bulging with strange objects.  Duo poked at one of them.

He sweatdropped.

"Ano . . . Heero, what are you doing with legos in your shorts?"

Heero glared at Duo before turning away with a slight flush on his face, "Mmkjjkm hjhj"

Duo peered closer into the other's face . "Ne, what was that?"

Heero glared again and muttered, a little loudly, "I said that I brought some legos back from the mission."  He pulled them out of his spandex shorts and offered them to the other pilots.  His eyes gleaming slightly, he added, "They're . . . interesting."

Duo backed hurriedly away.  Kami-sama knew what his koi kept in those shorts of his, not to mention the fact that no underwear was a distinct possibility as well . . .

Wufei smirked at their antics, then gawked as a delicate blonde girl dragged in a moaning Trowa.  The Chinese pilot sweatdropped as he realized that it was simply Quatre . . . in a dress, a pink dress, a pink and white lace dress . . . with matching accessories.  At the heat of his gaze, Quatre looked up, shooting Wufei and the other pilots, a death glare approximately equivalent to that of Heero's or himself on Wing Zero.  The other sweatdropped . . . just what had gone on in that other room?

Trowa moaned softly . . . his arms felt like lead.  Those little demons refused to let him rest, he had managed to get away by cartweeling and somersaulting out the window.  He would never forget the almost demonic glee in their eyes.  Shuddering, he carefully edged himself on the couch, helped by Quatre.

*Ding Dong*

All boys jumped up at the sound, pulling out 1 water pistol, 1 gun made out of Lego, one pink pistol, 1 sword, and one eraser. . . They all sweatdropped.  Eventually, Wufei went to answer the door, the only one with a viable weapon.  Yet another package had been sent, looking exactly like the first.

They eyed it wearily.  This was getting to be an old gag.  Duo was pushed to the fore, complaining loudly.  He sighed and opened the package, reading aloud from the paper slip that followed.

"Congratulations, Gundam pilots.  You have completed your mission.  This mission had no purpose fyi . . . The other scientists and I were exhausted from reworking your Gundams, which you blow up way too frequently,
and we needed a good laugh . . .
Thanx.  From the mad Scientists(tm)
This message will self-destruct in 10 seconds.
For real this time
8 . . "

Duo sighed and ducked for cover, along with the other pilots.  And it did explode . . . in a mixture of whip cream and various fruit filling, all over the befuddled G-boys.

Heero grabbed a piece of paper which was floating around above his head.

"You should watch some Marx brothers' films . . . hehehehe."

Yup. . . definitely sniffing the ol' gundam again.

Duo, with a certain gleam in his eye, approached Heero.  He purred, "Ne, Heero . . . I have the perfect idea for getting the whip cream off."

Heero eyed the other before grabbing a can of chocolate syrup and Duo's braid. "Hn.  So do I."  And off they went to the bedroom, not to emerge for the next 48 hrs.

Quatre, with a small demure smile, went to help Trowa up.  Loud giggles were heard coming from whence they had come.

Wufei sourly stared at the mess on his own clothes and the living room in general.  Hn!  He was definitely not cleaning this up.  He ambled into the bathroom and shut the lights on his way out.


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