Over the River
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Title: Over the River (Sequal to A Dark and Stormy Night)
Part: 1/1
Date: 28 November 2000
Author: Genji (genji_15@excite.com)
Status: Final
Archive: If you want it LMK
Category: ficlet
Rating: PG (b/c I really don't feel like admitting that anyone can read the sequal, but only PG peeps can read the first one...not that anyone pays attention to the little things like ratings...but just in case...)
Pairings: none
Warnings: Let's see....definite weirdness (it's 2:00 AM...I think I'm entitled to weirdness), OOC if you're really picky.....rambling, um...you fill in the blanks
Feedback: send it right back to me!
Disclaimer: I don't own Duo, Heero, Trowa, Quatre or Wufei. Yeah! They all got mentioned in this one!
Notes: Ok, this is my sad response to A Dark and Stormy Night.
Duo's POV
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"Over the river and through the woods to ho-ome base we go..." I'm sorry, but I just can't help myself. After two weeks of scrounging like a typical street rat I could kill for anything remotely clean. I was right about the clothes, though. I'm definitely going to need a new set. I think I left one in my locker on the base. Ok, so it isn't exactly a base, it's just this house in the woods in the middle of nowhere, not even a river nearby to go over, so I got to practice my survival skills and living off the land. I just about starved. Nothing grows in these temperate forests in November. I had to fight with some squirrels over some fallen nuts. Sorta scary, ya know? There's so many of them, they could easily over power me, if they ever decided to band together. I wonder what the name of the society they would make. There'd be rebels of course, there always is in any organized society. The Jolly Rodent would be the name of the gang running around stealing everyone else's nuts. Ok, I'm thinking wa-ay too deep here.
The house is just about a mile from here. Cause this is where Wufei fell into the mud after he tripped on a root. His white pants got so caked with mud, and he went on this hour-long rant about how only weaklings use such underhanded methods as tripping. He thought it was Heero. They nearly got into a fight over it, but then Trowa stepped in. Quatre was busy at the moment, and so Trowa was playing substitute peacemaker, it took a lot longer with him, though, because every other word Wufei would interrupt with some sort of oath or mini-rant until I duct taped his mouth shut. Yeah, I know it's harsh coming from me, but usually I don't linger on one topic for too long.
It was actually Wufei who gave me the idea of the mud tossing. So I'll have to remember to thank him for such wonderful material. But then again, he might start up again, and I don't know if I can take that for long. I'll probably end up covering my ears and screaming, "I can't he-ear you!" Then he'll just talk louder; maybe Heero could do something to shut him up.
I can't wait to see Quatre's face when I come walking up to the cabin, looking like some lone beggar. He probably wouldn't recognize me, save for my braid. Maybe if I hid it. I still do have my cap. It would be good for a laugh. Then he'll ask me what happened, even if he'd prefer to be off reading some sort of book about doing intelligent things with your time. Me? I like Garfield. Yeah, ancient stuff, hard to come by these days, but hey it would liven things up if I had a sarcastic cat. What tale shall I spin for them? How the strays in the city ran from me whenever I approached? I mean, it's not like I was going to kill them or anything. Or maybe that time I got kicked out of the bar for trying to talk my way into a job, even though I was definitely under age. The bartender kept on pointing to the sign, an' I kept on telling him I could poor stuff real nice. I demonstrated with the water pitcher. It could've helped if he'd given me a glass, but I didn't want to inconvenience him. He went purple when he saw the water dripping on the mahogany. How was I supposed to know it was the good stuff? I'm just a kid. Needless to say, he chased me out swearing under his breath. I'm not sure what language it was, mayhap Greek or some other type of language. I speak English fluently, an' can swear fluently in Spanish, Arabic, Chinese and Japanese. Hey, I'm a good student. Not that they actually went out of their way to teach me, but when they say 'the walls have ears,' they're pretty damn close.
No, it's not like I go around listening to keyholes an' stuff; it just sorta happens that things go wrong when I'm around. Like the time when I spiked Quatre's tea. He took one sip and spit it out, right onto the Oriental rug. Rashid was fit to kill me. He chased me around the estate, swearing. Quatre swore briefly after the incident, but Trowa just looked at me, amusement in those emerald orbs.
It's pretty easy to get Wufei to swear. Take all his belts. He was in the shower, his clothes laid out all nice an' neat, you know the baggy white pants an' the purple tank. Well, I stole the belt that was laid out over the tank. Then I just moved his belts from his bureau to Heero's. No, it's not like I like to watch them fight, but it's so funny to see Wufei yelling at him in Chinese, with Heero ignoring him until Wufei says something wrong and then he's sent flying across the room. Wufei usually just vents with words, Heero....I try not to piss him off to much, but still....
And Trowa? I'd pull the suspender trick, but that's already taken with Wufei's pet peeve, so I can't repeat myself. Thus, I'll simply stick a cloth up his flute. When he thinks he's alone he'll go outside or into some deserted room and play. He'll take a breath and try to play some melody or another only to be rewarded with no sound at all. He figures it out, but I make it so he's gotta hook the cloth, fishing for fabric. But he'll do it quietly, though I know somehow I'll eventually pay for it. He's gotten into the habit of stealing my hair elastics, and I always seem to lose mine, or break them, or whatever. So I'll have my hair in a braid and I'm holding onto the end with one hand while I'm rummaging through all my drawers looking in vain for them. Trowa will sometimes come in when he hears the commotion. He'll hold an elastic out, asking, "Are you looking for this?" I'll rush at it, forgetting to hold the end of my hair and then it just fall out of the braid that took me forever to make. Plus it gets all knotted while I jump, trying to get the object that the boy holds high above his head. Eventually he'll take pity and let me have it, otherwise I've gotta jump an' try to get it. One of these days I'll be his height and he won't do that to me, but he'll find another way. Payback is payback.
I see the house, a faint wisp of smoke escapes from the chimney. I pause and push my braid down the back of my shirt. If you're looking for it you can see it, but I doubt they'll be looking for it in my state. I pull my cap down over my eyes- the anonymous beggar going among the selfish suitors. Ah, Odysseus, master of deception, what would you do in my stead? I knock on the door. I wait and wait for what seems like forever. It looks like they're hoping I'll go away. Fat chance. I pull out my trusty pick; never go without it as a pilot or a beggar. Within two seconds the door swings open under my ministrations.
A gun cocks. Not again! I lost my collar so there will be no deer to shoot, plus deer don't pick locks and walk into houses. Maybe it's the squirrels he wants to shoot. I look expectantly behind me, preparing myself to see a mass of angry squirrels baring their angry teeth, but there's nothing behind me. I look back into the room; there's no one there, or at least that's what it appears until someone pokes me from behind with the barrel of a gun. Oh well, at least I'll get a question-answer session before he pulls the trigger. He pushes me toward a straight chair by the fire. I gladly accept the unspoken offer, having nothing better than logs and the cold ground to sit on, a chair seems like a dream come true. He pulls off my cap and growls, "You're late."
"What?!? I didn't fool you? After all that time of rolling around in the dirt an' slashing my clothes I still can't fool anyone? You wanna know why I'm late?"
"Do you have the information?"
"Yeah. But aren't you the least curious?"
"No."
He holds his hand out for the disk. I sigh, and rummage around to get to the inner pocket where the disk is hidden. Not a great hiding place, but I planned to fight a little before I was searched. I hand it to him an' get up to go take a shower. My only consolation is that he didn't claim he had already gotten it. Maybe after my shower I can track down Quatre and torture him with the details. Oh well, it's worth a shot. If not, I'll get my hands on Heero's laptop an' put up that wallpaper of Relena. I've been meaning to use that scan for a while. Won't he be pleased? Now all I need are pictures of Catherine, Dorothy and Sally.
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© 2000 by Genji. Please do not remove without permission.
