I Thought She Knew

She was my once in a lifetime
Happy-ending come true

[Wufei powers up Shenlong gundam, preparing for a fight. His look is hard and carved. For a moment he considers how his life would have been different if his wife had lived.]

[He hardens, knowing that all that is ended. His only path to a content life is closed by now.]

I guess I should have told her
I thought she knew

[Shenlong lifts off. Close-up of Wufei’s emotion-filled eyes. He shuts his eyes briefly. When they open again, his ebony eyes are void of feeling. It is too late, after all, to tell her how much he actually cared.]

She said I took her for granted
That’s the last thing I would do

[Meiran yelling at Wufei while he read a book. She’s angry about him telling her that women are unfit for battles. As she storms off, Wufei frowns when he realizes that she is going to “prove” herself.]

[As Wufei hurries to power-up Shenlong, he wonders why Meiran had to run off in Tallgeese to battle. He’s never meant to make her feel useless. It was just that he couldn’t see her out on the battlefield – getting hurt.]

I never understand it
I thought she knew

[Back in the present, Wufei angrily attacks the LEO units coming at him. He grits his teeth, thinking of Meiran and how she had rammed into him to protect him.]

[He just couldn’t see why she’d done it.]

I thought she knew
My world revolved around her
My love light burned for her alone

[Wufei finishes his battle and moves his gundam into hiding. He looks at the evening sky and wonders what Meiran would think of the Earth.]

[His eyes fall but his face remains chiseled. It wasn’t until after she was gone that he realized how very much he needed her. All the arguments, few times they agreed, all the practices… Meiran was the first and last he loved.]

But she couldn’t see the flame
Only myself to blame
I should have known
I should have known

[As Wufei holds the dying Meiran, she apologizes for being a pain and him not liking her. She admits to thinking he could be a good husband. This whole time, Wufei’s astonished by what she’s saying – and that she doesn’t believe him to care for her in any way. As she closes her eyes and her head falls forward, Wufei calls her name. There’s no response.]

[He begins to cure himself repeatedly. He believes he should have been able to keep Meiran from the dangers of the battle. He should have known what to do. He should have told her sooner what he felt.]

A heart full of words left unspoken
Now that we’re through

[Wufei pilots Altron with determination to his old home colony of L5. Memories build painfully on him and he’s reminded of the despair on that fateful day. All the pent-up feelings and confessions had gone unsaid from his lips. Now there was no chance. He sighs.]

I tell my soul to have this silence broken
I thought she knew

[Wufei screams in absolute loss as L5 blows apart piece by piece. He’s shouting questions to the void of space and begins to cry. Everything now is lost to him. His love, his clan, his home…]

[Altron finishes the Taurus suits in record-breaking time and Wufei is left alone; in the void of his soul, in the void of his heart.]

I thought she knew
My world revolved around her
My love light burned for her alone

[Wufei reads alone in his room on Peacemillion. The door slowly opens and Duo pops in with a smile. Wufei frowns at being interrupted but listens to some of the babble. Finally Duo is told to get to the point and he turns serious. He asks about the Altron and Shenlong gundam, wondering why Wufei calls it Nataku.]

[Wufei cannot open his mouth for fear of breaking down. He swallows slowly and looks away. He still remembers the days when he and Meiran used to play and spar, giving one another nicknames. Softly Wufei murmurs “Nataku…” followed by “Meiran.”. ]

But she couldn’t see the flame
Only myself to blame
I should have known
I should have known

[Very hesitantly Wufei requests Duo to sit down and listen seriously. Duo obeys solemnly. Wufei slowly manages to explain his past and who Meiran was. Duo’s eyes shine with unshed tears as he listens. He does his best to assure Wufei that she does know that he cared and cares. Still, Wufei can’t quite quit blaming himself for her death. Duo admits to him that hundreds of innocents’ lives are on his own hands; telling him that he’s not alone. Also that because of what Meiran did, it meant that she, too, cared about Wufei.]

She was my once in a lifetime
Happy-ending come true

[Wufei smirked as the last of the battleship Libra was destroyed thanks to Wing Zero. He’d never doubted Heero’s abilities, after all. Finally everything sunk in and Wufei’s face changed. He looked out into space and wondered where he had to go. There was nothing to do. There was no one out there for him. This peace seemed more of a nightmare to him than the war. At least when he was fighting, he didn’t have to think about his loneliness or what else was going on. He actually had meaning. Meiran’s face appears before him and he can still see as her head lolls to the side – her breath gone. A single tear falls down his face; though if it’s for her or him, he is unsure.]

I guess I should have told her
But I thought she knew

[Wufei stops back on Earth. On an empty, grassy knoll in the middle of the country, he arranges a memorial stone along with flowers. One of Meiran’s very feminine tastes was the love of flowers.]

[Wufei lowers his head to honor her silently. Eventually he looks up and his eyes are shining from tears. He apologizes; then turns.]

I thought she knew
**Repeats until fade**

[The scene becomes blocked by a swirling blizzard of red and white rose petals. Every so often, brief glimpses of the years Wufei and Meiran were together show through.]

I thought
That she…
Knew…

[Meiran smiles painfully as her eyes close. Her muscles relax and she goes into a non-expression while her head lolls to the side. Wufei cries in denial beside her body.]