A Murder of Crows
Title: A Murder of Crows
Part: 12/12
Author: KKChitown
Status: Final
Category: Fic
Feedback: I'm dying to know what you think
Warnings & Disclaimers: Screw 'em, I've repeated them too often
A Murder of Crows: Epilogue
: By KKChitown
I woke up three days later in a hospital in downtown London. Duo was
in the bed next to mine, being treated for broken ribs and
hyperthermia. Both of us were being treated for burns in a "car
accident" that we were in, which helped explain his broken ribs.
Anyway, when I came to, he was raising hell with the medical staff
about something they were feeding him. And as if that wasn't enough,
Wufei was threatening bodily harm to the doctors and nurses if they
did not see to Duo, and if I didn't wake up soon. Heero leaned
against the wall, fairly amused at the show between Duo and Wufei,
and Trowa sat next to my bed, waiting for me to wake up. I never
thought I would be so happy to see him. He sat cross legged in his
chair, eyes swallowing me whole. I felt myself blush under his
intense gaze.
"Hey Quatre, I was worried man. Are you okay?" Duo's cheery voice
rose my spirits even higher.
"Yeah Duo," I coughed out, my voice hasn't been used in days.
"Where is a nurse? He is coughing. Woman, get in here NOW!" And as
Wufei commanded, a frightened nurse entered the room with a cup of
water to help soothe my throat.
I quickly took the cup from her shaking hands to help myself, since
it seems that she would more than likely spill it all over me, and
cause another horrific outburst from Wufei. My arms felt like they
weighed a metric ton, and my throat muscles didn't even *try* to
work. I probably would've been better off if she helped me.
"Thank you." I tried to smile to calm her down, but Wufei's intense
gaze froze her to a stupor, shaking pile of goo. His gaze started to
even scare me!
"Quatre, do you need anything?"
"No, Wufei, I'm fine. Thank you."
He nodded in understanding, but apparently had his own
objective. "Get him some food, and fresh clothing, NOW!" And as
before, the horrified nurse ran from my side and did exactly what she
was told.
I felt sorry for the medical staff. This was happening and I just
woke up? I didn't want to know what was going on while I was out. But
since Duo is my roommate while we were in the hospital, I'm sure I'll
hear all about it.
***
London's libraries are fascinating. I want to say they are like a
castle of books. As wealthy as my family is, we did not travel too
freely between the colonies or earth. Of course travel and
communication between the colonies were restricted, but when you're
rich, a lot of things are overlooked if you catch my meaning.
Anyway, Heero and I had regrouped at one of the secluded tables near
a corner of the great hall. We all had class, but Heero and I decided
to say we were sick to go check out what that mansion in Frankfurt
was all about. I really wanted to take Wufei, since he is a scholar
and all, but he was gone for almost a week on a mission, so I decided
against him coming. Duo and Trowa had several missions themselves,
and since I was so badly hurt they even took over a few of my
missions, so I figured that all they should do is concentrate on
school, and rest. Besides, there was something that felt...incomplete
about the whole situation. And Heero felt it too. So here we are,
ditching school to find out what that 'something' is.
I unconsciously reached up to hold Duo's cross in my hand, but forget
that he got it back from me already. Right now he has my ring, so I
can't twist it. It's been a little over two months since I got out of
the hospital, but they've been so busy lately I've hardly been able
to spend time with anyone except Heero. I don't know what Dr. J is up
to, but Heero is in a lull with the missions, so for the last month
and a half, we've spent a lot of time together. He finally confessed
that it was Trowa who asked him to watch over me, and he agreed. I
keep chewing on that thought. Trowa and Heero are so much alike. They
have a friendship that Duo and I could never understand. But maybe
that's what makes them, friends, I guess. Quiet people attract quiet
people. Yeah, that must be it.
"Let me see that book." I handed Heero the journal that I `borrowed
with no intention of returning' from Dr. Corvidophilia's laboratory.
With more time to read and study, I translated the entire journal.
Now we were trying to fill in the loopholes. Most of them were filled
in when Krahe explained what had happened to his mother, but I wanted
to know what the police decided happened to the father. If he was a
well-known scientist, certainly his absence would be noticed.
"Here." I looked over Heero's shoulder to see what he was pointing
at. In one of the Genealogical Society's journals, it explained the
disappearance of the doctor as a kidnaping, and that a homeless man
was accused of the crime and put to death, but the body was never
recovered. No kidding. Anyway, the son lived alone another year
before he...drowned himself in the nearby pond. His body and the
mother's were buried underneath the only tree on the plot.
I think I am going to be sick.
"Quatre, are you okay?" Heero's face betrayed the lack of worry in
his voice.
"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little bit....winded." A pathetic lie but he
understood.
"I think we know all that we need to. This is over."
"Right." Putting on our coats, Heero and I walked side by side out
into the chilly air. Spring was still a few weeks away, but the
weather now is nothing compared to Germany. Burr! I get cold just
thinking about it. Anyway, we were downtown, so by the time we would
get back to school it will probably be nightfall. Doesn't matter
though. I am not in the mood to be seen.
***
Heero and I were on the bus, maybe five minutes from where we could
be dropped off on campus. I sat next to the window, watching the
trees and people as they go on with their lives, almost oblivious
that there is a war going on. I can only hope that this achieves
world peace. It has to. Too many people have already died, mostly by
my hands. This is the only way. Destroy OZ and Romafeller.
My thinking came to a screeching halt when I remembered the final
entry in the journal, `wait, there is someone at the door.' Huh. He
should have written `wait for eternity, as I go to my death.' He was
ready to reconcile his mistakes and differences to his son, maybe
come clean with it all, but instead he was killed. By crows no less.
That makes me wonder about Trowa. What if I wait too long to tell him
how I feel and I lose him before anything could happen? Or not happen
if he doesn't feel as strongly as I do? At least he would know that
somebody loved him, whether he was a gundam pilot or not.
And an innocent man was killed, because Krahe couldn't tell the
truth. How I wish I could erase his name from my mind.
"What are you thinking about?" Heero interrupted my mental kicking.
"How much I love Trowa." It slipped out before I realized what I was
saying. Oh Allah, I admitted my love for Trowa to Heero. I know we
are becoming better friends and comrades but this is not what I need
from the perfect soldier. "What are you thinking about?" Maybe if I
ask he will drop it.
"About Relena." Okay, I was NOT ready for that answer, but now my
curiosity has been piqued.
"Relena? What about Duo?"
"Duo?" He looked at me like I suggested sky diving lessons. Me and my
big mouth. O–kay, how am I going to fix this?!
"Yeah, Duo, he...he likes you, you know, and from that night, I know
you like him too." Yeah, what's going on? That night he was ready to
kill me for laying next to Duo, and now he is thinking about Relena?
Don't get me wrong. I like Relena, but she is very, how do you say,
persistent. She doesn't understand that he *will* kill her if she
continues to get in the way.
"He, he likes me?" He asked this like it was a surprise to him. I see
why Duo is frustrated. Of course, no one ever mentioned that night to
him.
"Yes. Very much so. You know, if you are nicer to him, it would
really make his day. It is his and Wufei's turn to check on the
gundams tonight. When he gets back, tell him thank you or something."
"Hn..." I guess he's thinking about it. At least I have finally
gotten him out of the three word limit stage. A `hn' every now and
then isn't too bad.
"What about Relena?" I have to know. I am turning into a busy body
like my sisters. At least I like Trowa and no one else. I don't have
to choose *between* sexes.
"I like Relena. She is...I don't know. There is something about her
that I am drawn to, but then Duo is just like me. Relena is a very
pretty girl. I especially like her eyes. But Duo, when he walks in
the room my breath stops, and HIS eyes burn right through me....."
I am telling you, Heero did a very comical expression of his eyes
bugging out when he realized what he was saying. He gave me the death
glare of all time, but all I could do is smile. "Follow your emotions
Heero."
He stopped glaring, and sighed in defeat. Heero: 3 million, Quatre:
1, and I was going to hold on to that one victory with a death grip.
"We're here," is all he said.
We got off the bus, and it slowly roared away. It was dark now, but
orange street lights illuminated the manmade path back to the dorms.
I love how it is chilly, but there isn't a breeze. We really weren't
in a hurry, just taking our time and enjoying the quiet, before each
of us had to go back into being students. Right now we were only two
boys enjoying the view, not gundam pilots, not killers, not anything.
Just are.
"You know Heero, you can always talk to me." I said, breaking the
silence.
"I know," he finally replied, mussing my hair.
***
I decided later on that night that I would tell Trowa about my
feelings, but lost my nerve at the last minute, which honestly
couldn't be helped. The day before, Wufei, Duo and I went to the
market to buy some fruit, since the doctor stated that Duo and I
weren't really eating too well. Most of the money was spent on fruit,
however, we came back with a large amount of twinkies and skittles.
Oh well. Anyway, I figured that if Duo and I aren't eating right, and
we eat more than the other three put together, then they might be
worse off than we are. So I bought fruit for everybody, and right now
Trowa is sitting at the desk, doing homework, with his bangs covering
that one eye, clad in loose jogging pants, with a strawberry in his
mouth. A strawberry. In his mouth. I love the taste of strawberries.
I would love to taste Trowa's lips.
I have to leave. Now.
"What is it Quatre?" He asked, mercifully removing the strawberry.
I have been planning on doing something to help me get over what
happened in Frankfurt as soon as Heero and I found out what we needed
to know. Might as well do it now. "Just letting you know I
am....going for a walk. I should be back in half an hour."
"Would you like for me to come with you?" Come with me? Huh, you have
no idea.
"Oh no, that's okay, I don't want to disturb anything you are
doing." /Liar./
"Well, that is a long time to be walking by yourself Quatre."
"I'll be okay, just need some time to be alone and reflect." He
raised his eyebrow eloquently, but didn't say anything further.
I already had the journal with me. Duo had left it in the coat pocket
when we exchanged coats. I also had the sweatshirt that was torn and
sewn back together. I loved that sweatshirt, but it smelled like
Kra....him. It had the smell of cold, running water to it. Every time
I wore it, I could feel his body in it, and I could taste his kisses.
I wanted to get rid of it.
I smiled at him and walked out, firmly closing the door behind me. I
really really really REALLY needed to take a cold shower, but first
thing is first.
***
I guess this old garbage can will do. It's metal, rusty looking and
dented in from where people have kicked it in, but it will serve my
purpose just fine. I poured a little bit of rubbing alcohol on top of
the trash. Since most of it was paper, I didn't want to add too much.
I was right outside of school grounds, near the teacher's parking
lot, so I figured no one would be out here. Taking the beat up match
box out of my sock, I took the last match and lit it. I threw the
empty box in, which was closely followed by the match.
The flame puffed and grew, glowing a bright orange, and emitting
little sparks flying up into the night air. Listening to the
crackling of the fire, I shuddered slightly at the memory of being in
that room, the flame flowing past my feet, and the feel of my flesh
burning....
"Quatre!"
"Huh, wha-" Wufei was holding both of my shoulders, shaking me. I
grabbed onto his elbows, waiting for him to stop rattling my brain
around my head.
"I said are you alright? I kept calling your name but you wouldn't
respond. What the hell are you doing?" Yep. Things are getting back
to normal, as normal as things are for us anyway.
"I'm sorry, I was somewhere else."
"No shit." Yeah, pretty normal.
"Where's Duo? I thought you and him were supposed to check on the
gundams."
"We did, but on the way back I told him if he didn't stop singing
that damn `power puff' song or whatever those weaklings are called,
that I'd tie him to the limb of a tree by his hair."
"Sooooo where is Duo?" My only answer was an evil smirk across
Wufei's face. Yep. Things are back to normal.
I shrugged my shoulders and returned my attention back to the flame,
which is now about as high as we are tall. My sweatshirt was draped
over my arm, so picked it up and held it over the fire. Wufei gaped
as I held it there, the flame was licking my hand and wrist.
"Drop it." I did what I was told and released it, allowing it to be
consumed by the fire. I looked up to see Duo standing in front of
Wufei, his face distorted with anger.
"I know that you are upset about what happened Quatre, but its over.
Don't go around hurting yourself okay? If you want that, tell me and
I'll kick your ass myself. Understand?"
I nodded. I did understand and he was right. I didn't need to hurt
myself, but I couldn't pull away, if that makes any sense. Oh well.
So much for being alone. This time I took out the journal, caressing
its leather surface. I flipped it open to the first page to read
something like a prologue. "wen Manner Flugel und Ausbohrung schwarze
Federn hatten, wurden wenige von ihnen genug gescheit sein, Krahen zu
sein."
Duo's face lost its fierceness as he asked, "what the hell does that
mean?"
"If men had wings and bore black feathers, few of them would be
clever enough to be crows."
"Right, sure. Okay! Now what are you going to do with that?"
As soon as he said that I tossed the journal in and it almost
vanished by the time it hit the bottom of the can. I swore I heard
the howling of the fire as the book burned, screaming at me in agony.
But it no longer matters. That man had been dead for almost a hundred
years. Anything or anyone related to that crime is also dead. It can
howl as it wants. There is no point in keeping this stuff.
Finally, I took out the key. I turned it around and around in my
hands, admiring its complexity. The crow head was extremely detailed.
If it wasn't so important, I would've donated it to a museum or
something. Since it can't be burned, I decided that this I will keep.
In case I needed it again. And I had the feeling that I might.
All three of us stood there for a moment or two, and watched
everything burn. I don't know if they understood why I was doing what
I was doing, but they didn't ask. As long as I would end up feeling
better, they would support me. And I was feeling better. It's hard to
describe. I felt as if I was erasing that part of my past, that it
was something tangible that I could destroy, so that it will never
bother me again.
After a short eternity, Wufei came between me and Duo and pulled us
away from the fire. It was time to go back.
I walked ahead of the other two since they were throwing snowballs.
As I kicked up a clump of snow a caw got my attention. Now don't get
me wrong, I am not paranoid of crows, even when there is a bunch of
them, but I do get nervous when it is dark, and as cold as it is,
they are still outside. I froze where I stood, peering at the two
dozen or so crows that were watching me. I could feel my heart
hurting again. It does that occasionally when I feel apprehensive.
Because of whatever Krahe did to me, the doctors told me that I now
have a heart condition, and gave me pills that I could take for it.
If I don't, I could possibly have a heart attack and die. That's not
good for a gundam pilot, but so far I haven't had any problems. Only
in situations like this did I hurt.
I grabbed at my chest, regulating my breathing, trying to calm myself
down. Wufei came to my side and wrapped his arm around my waist. Duo
came to my other side, and held my hand.
"Come on, cat," he whispered in my ear, "they can't hurt you. We would
never let them. And besides, a naked and lonely Trowa-real life blow
up doll is at school waiting for ya."
I blushed. I can't help it. He knows how to get my attention.
I inhaled the ice cold air and took a deliberate step forward,
followed by another and another, feeling safe with the love and the
company of my best friends as they walked side by side with me
through a murder of crows.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The phrase "If men bore black feathers.....was termed by Henry Ward
Beecher. He was a crow expert in the mid 1800s.
© 2000 by KKChitown. Please do not remove without permission.
