“What do you want woman!!” he screamed a few seconds later pulling the pillow down over his head
“Get up this instant.” Bulma demanded appearing in the doorway “You know it’s Boxers birthday today, and we need to set up for his party.”
“Why would I open my home to that brat?” Vegeta snarled from underneath a pile of blankets
“You know I promised Trunks and Maron that they could have the party here.” Bulma whined, pulling at his covers “I told you about it months ago.”
“I know but I was hoping you’d have forgotten by now.”
“Vegeta!!” Bulma cried tearing at the covers so hard that they ripped in half, causing her to fall to the floor “Get up now or they’ll be no “night nookie” until your hair turns gray.”
“That shouldn’t take long at the rate your going.” came the nasty response
Vegeta gave a happy little sigh when he heard her footsteps tread back down the staircase. He was beginning to drift off again when, WHAM, Bulma slammed a frying pan full force into his head.
“Damn you woman!!” he shouted, bolting up in his bed “What in the heck is wrong with you!!”
“I told you to get moving.” Bulma sneered waving the now dented pan in his face threateningly “I need help.”
Vegeta groaned and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He had been dreading this day for quite some time. “You might wanna put some pants on too.” Bulma announced, gesturing at his worn boxer shorts “Cute teletubbies though.”
“Maybe if you did wash from time to time I wouldn’t be forced to wear them.” Vegeta snapped, pulling a pair of pants from his dresser drawer.
“Please Vegeta,” Bulma purred innocently as she descended the stairs again “We all know you’re a closet teletubbies fan.”
“Chill out Vegeta!!” a male voice answered instead “It’s not like you couldn’t fly if you fell anyway.”
“Cacarot!!” Vegeta growled his face reddening “Woman!! Get out here, NOW!!”
“What is it Vegeta?” Bulma demanded impatiently, appearing near the front door “I’m trying to bake Boxers’ birthday cake.”
“What is he doing here.” Vegeta snapped angrily pointing to Goku
“He’s Boxers’ favorite Uncle, he has every right to be here.”
“But when he’s around Boxers’ pays no attention to me.” Vegeta hissed, talking low so Goku wouldn’t overhear
“Well maybe he’d actually like you if you didn’t tell him he was an accident all the time.” Bulma kindly pointed out not caring if Goku heard or not
“Nonsense. I use to tell Trunks that all the time and he still loves me!!”
“That must be why we threw darts at your picture at Trunks’ bachelor party!!” Goku declared suddenly “Because he loves you so much.”
“When did Trunks have a bachelor party!?” Vegeta gasped, as Bulma gave Goku a look that clearly said “Shut up.”
“Uhhh.. I just made that up?” Goku lied with a big stupid grin on his face
“Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....” Vegeta snarled grabbing the crepe paper from the ground and returning to his ladder “Get over here Cacarot and make yourself useful.”
“Have fun you two.” Bulma called as she disappeared back into the house “Play nice Vegeta.”
“What do you want me to do?” Goku questioned, hovering in the air beside Vegeta
“First off get down!!” Vegeta shouted rather loudly “If my neighbors see you floating everywhere they might try to talk to me or something!!”
“You don’t talk to your neighbors?” Goku asked returning to the ground
“Of course not, their beneath me.”
“But you talk to me.” Goku kindly pointed out
“Only because my wife forces me too!!”
“Whatever.” Goku replied clearly confused by now “Hey I think I see a car coming!!”
Vegeta nearly fell off the ladder again as he strained to see. An almost new gold and lavender colored car was parking in his driveway.
“Boy!!” Vegeta hollered as Trunks started getting out of his car “You better get out of my driveway, it’s reserved for my car only!!”
“Where else am I supposed to park Dad?” Trunks demanded with a sigh
“Park it in the street with the Woman’s car.”
“Bulma still lets you call her that?” Trunks' wife, Maron, sneered as she climbed out of the passenger seat
“And why wouldn’t she?” Vegeta growled
“Uncle Vegeta!!” Boxers’ little voice exploded as he practically burst from the backseat
“Now Boxers you know its “Grandpa Vegeta”, not Uncle Vegeta.” Maron corrected gently
“Nonsense other woman,” Vegeta interrupted “He can call me Uncle if he wants too.”
“Only because it makes you sound younger I bet.” Maron snapped irritably
“Uhhh.. Boxers why don’t you introduce your friend to Grandpa Vegeta.” Trunks suggested quickly noticing the rising tension
“He brought a friend to my house!?” Vegeta cried taking notice of the little boy with sleek black hair and icy blue eyes for the first time.
“What’s the point of having a party without a friend or two?” Trunks offered with an uncomfortable laugh
“Hey, he looks just like 17!!” Goku declared, pushing past Vegeta to have a closer look at the boy
“He does not!!” Maron cried pulling the boy away from Goku “His name is Thirty-four.”
“What kind of name is that!!” Vegeta roared “Wait.. isn’t 17 plus 17….”
“Lets go inside and see Mom.” Trunks interrupted quickly, ushering the two kids and Maron inside “I bet she has a cake baking.”
“A cake!!” Goku squealed running after them “Why wasn’t I informed of this cake!!”
“Isn’t it about time to stuff them somewhere?” Vegeta growled, gesturing to the two children, who were now trying to pry apart one of his precious fighting trophies for about the hundredth time.
“Lighten up Dad, they’re just kids.” Trunks responded “You were one once you know.”
“I was not!! I don’t remember ever being so stupid.”
“Oh Vegeta your impossible!! Just shut up and have a good time.” Bulma scolded “It’s almost time for cake.”
“CAKE!! I love cake!!” Goku mumbled from the floor, where he was shoving nearly his twentieth whole pizza into his mouth
“Uncle Vegeta did I show you my new toy?” Boxers asked, innocently pulling on Vegeta’s pant leg
“No.” Vegeta said with a smile, pulling the boy onto his lap in one of his kinder moments “What is it?”
“A can of mace.” the boy replied sweetly as he sprayed a full load into Vegeta’s unsuspecting face
“Little @#$%^&*!!” Vegeta screamed at him as Boxers leapt from his lap and ran away, laughing the entire time. Thirty-four, who hadn’t said a word the entire party, joined him in hiding in the corner.
“Vegeta watch your language!!” Bulma yelled, as she returned to the room, beautiful cake in tow
“But he sprayed me in the face with pepper spray!!” Vegeta whined, rubbing at his blood-shot eyes “Who was the idiot who gave him mace as a present anyway!?”
“You did remember?” Maron pointed out with a laugh “The card said it was from you.”
“The woman must have done it.” Vegeta grumbled red faced and red eyed now, even though he could clearly recall picking it out at the store a few weeks back
“Blow out the candles Boxers!!” Trunks urged after everyone, except Vegeta and Thirty-four, had sung Happy Birthday
As soon as Boxers’ leaned over to blow out his candles, the entire cake exploded in a shower of crumbs and frosting. Bulma, Maron, Goku, and Boxers all screamed and ducked, Trunks slipped on a patch of icing and knocked himself out on the floor “Wha.. what happened!!” Bulma cried rubbing at the frosting covering her face “Trunks!!”
“The CAKE!!” Goku screamed, collapsing instantly on the floor in a crying little heap "Precious cake!!"
Maron, Trunks, and Bulma all gasped as Thirty-four appeared in the middle of the living room table. Untouched from the cake. “Thirty-four, how did you avoid the cake?” Boxers squeaked pulling candles out of his hair
Instead of replying, Thirty-four threw his hands into the air and started charging up a powerful fireball. “Goku do something!!” Maron screamed, but Goku was to busy bawling over the destroyed cake
“What’s wrong with you women?” Vegeta’s nasty voice snapped as he reappeared after having been sent to find a knife by Bulma a few minutes before. His eyes were still nearly swollen shut from his earlier maceing, he could hardly see anything.
“Vegeta!!” Bulma gasped, having forgotten her husband
“Did that stupid Thirty-four kid blow out Boxers’ candles?” Vegeta snapped instead of answering her “Well no problem, it took me awhile to find it, but I brought our lighter out just in case.”
Bulma, Maron, and even Boxers’ mouths all hung open as Vegeta leaned over to the still charging up Thirty-four, and light his hair on fire!!
Thirty-four dropped his fighting stance and swatted wildly at the raging inferno that was his hair. His mouth was wide open, but no noise came out. Everyone, but a still confused Vegeta, crying Goku, and knocked out Trunks, watched as the fireball ran from the house, arms failing helplessly in the air.
“What happened!!” Vegeta shouted rubbing at his sore eyes “Did Boxers’ blow out the candles yet?”
“Vegeta you saved us!!” Maron exploded, dashing over to give her father-in-law a big hug “I never thought I’d say this, but thank you!!”
“Ugh.. get the heck away from me other woman!!” Vegeta snarled as Maron attempted to kiss his cheek “You too.” he added in case Bulma had any ideas
“Mommy where did Thirty-four go!!” Boxers’ asked innocently a few seconds later
“Apparently, Uncle Goku was right son.” Maron answered softly as she and Bulma dragged Trunks onto the sofa. Thirty-four had just a bit to much of 17’s blood in him. He was downright evil!!”
“I told you so.” Vegeta announced as he groped his way to a chair and sat down. Wincing as icing stuck to his butt “What the hell is on these chairs!! Boxers!!”
“Oh Vegeta.” Bulma moaned with a roll of her eyes “Will you ever change?”
THE END
