Playing With Fire, Pointy Objects, and Things Like That...Is Fun!





A/N Oh, Lord! Draco's hosting? Head for the hills! Just kidding, but he is the host.







We start off by seeing a swivel chair that is facing away from us. Draco then turns around in his swivel chair, to were he is facing our cameramen, and props his elbows on the desk.

"Hello," he says, "and welcome to my giude of 'playing with fire,pointy objects, and things like that...is fun.'"

He gets up and walks over to a chart of flammable objects.

"As you can see," he starts, then puts his hands in his pockets. "Oh no! I've lost my wand!"

*Pop!* "What are you doing here?" he asked the girl who had appeared on his desk, (me)."You forgot your wand in bed, *again*." she said."Sorry," he says and takes his wand. "Yeah, well, hurry up!" she said and disapeared.

Draco clears his throat and says, "As I was saying, all of the things on this chart are flammable. That means they can be set on fire, or make a fire bigger."

He flips the chart over, "You can use some of these things to make a home made flamethrower. " he explained.

"I", he continued, "have none of these objects in here, so I can't show you how to make one."

He taps the chart with his wand, and it starts to move. There is a campfire going, and little kids surrounding it, with lots of flammable objects.

"All of these flammable things can be thrown into a fire for *hours* of fun."

Draco then walks over to his desk, opens a drawer, and pulls out an array of pointy objects. He spread then out over his desk.

"My friends," he begins, and picks up a dagger. "These babies can be used in battles, for torture, or just a good time."

He puts down the dagger and stands up again.

"How many times have your parents told you not to runs with scissor?"

A lot of kids in the audience started to yell out numbers.

"They tell you that you can poke out an eye, get stabbed, or worse, right?"

"Yeah!" All the kids in the audience agreed.

"Well, they're wrong! Nothing will happen! They just say that because they don't want you to enjoy yourself."

Draco waved his wand, and all of the pointy objects disapeared. He sat back down in his chair.

"Lead pipes are a lot of fun, but I seem to have misplaced mine."

*Pop!* The girl from before was back on the desk. "You're back?" Draco asked her. " Yes and here's your pipe." "Thank you." "Hurry up!" "I will." The girl sighed and disapeared again.

"Lead pipes can be fun, but they can come in handy too. Say someone threatens to beat you up, and there is a lead pipe nearby. You pick it up, and whack them 'round the head with it. Then you run like heck."

He walked back to his desk and opened another drawer, and took out a handgun.

"I won't go into detail here, " he says and holds up the handgun. "These babies come in many shapes and sizes, but they all inflict pain. I think you know the rest."

He put the gun back up and started to pace. He then walked into another room, and came back carrying a box.

"Poisons," he said and started pulling things out of the box like chemicals, bleach, and all that falls in between.

"People tell you not to drink things like these, right?"

"Right!" KIds in the audience responded again/

"I don't see why they say that. If the label says nontoxic, then its not poisonous."

Draco put everything back in the box, took the box back in the room he got it from, and went back to his desk.

He stood in front of it with his hands behind him on the desk, and his feet crossed in front of him.

"I have taought you all I can for now, kids" he says. " Now I must go before my girlfriend kills me. He then left with a small *pop*.









A/N I couldn't sleep and this came and popped up in my head. Please review. No flames.