Ed and Duoís Greatest Adventure

By Devon Masterson

"Buhbye," Spike waved as he watched a capsule float through a closing wormhole.

"Bye bye, Bebop," Ed called as she waved back at Jet and Spike.

"Let me out! I donít deserve this," Faye yelled as she banged on the glass. She sighed as she saw the Bebop turn in the other direction and speed off as the wormhole that Ed discovered closed behind her. That was the last time she would trust them in a game of chance. They had to have set her up. What pissed her off more was that she didnít beat them to it. She lost and she had to accompany Ed off onto this "great adventure" she called it. Who knows where Ed was leading her? There might not be anything on the other side of this wormhole and they die of starvation.

Faye looked at Ed as she watched streams of colors fly by. "Dimensional junction patterns ooh la la. Very pretty donít you think?"

Faye raised an eyebrow. She had known this girl for four years and she still was just as weird but only bigger. The only thing girlish about her was her long hair and body that picked up from somewhere while they were traveling. She wish she would mature or something. "Maybe a few good shoves between the legs would straighten her out. At least I now know what to get her for her next birthday," she thought as she looked at the goofy teen. "If thereís nothing out there, youíre the first to go once the food runs out," Faye warned.

"Oh there is," Ed replied as she twirled around. She then quickly moved over to Faye so they touched foreheads. "Iíve been monitoring signals from the wormhole. Thereís a whole world out there and we get to explore it. Weíll be aliens, spooky." She commented as she broke away and twirled about the small capsule again.

"Yeah whatever, wake me when we get there," Faye replied as she lay down on her cot.

"Okay but youíre going to miss it," Ed warned as she slid her goggles down.

"I think Iíll be okay," Faye remarked as she closed her eyes. A few minutes later she opened her eyes to shield them from sunlight on her face. "Sunlight?" Faye sat up and felt a gentle breeze. "When did they land?" she wondered. "Ed?" Faye stood and walked out of the open capsule door. "Oh no some aliens ate her and were coming for her next. Iím too young to die. Iím going to kill Spike for this." She looked around the strange alien world and saw lush foliage and a lake. She knew any minute this deception was going to be seen for what it was and she was going to be attacked by some three headed monster that liked to eat beautiful young women. It probably ate Ed out of sheer desperation and was ready for the real meal.

"Boo! I scared you," Ed called out from behind her.

Faye pulled her gun and Ed back flipped. She laughed as she saw Fayeís face of fear to shift to anger. "Youíre lucky youíre the last person onÖwhatever this planet is."

Ed giggled and stood. "This is Earth. I didnít want to land on the colonies because theyíre hiding here."

"Earth? They?"

Ed nodded. "This is a parallel universe. Things are different here. They have space shuttles, space colonies, mechas, and they donít explore the universe." Ed held her arms out and started to Ďflyí about. Faye grabbed Ed by the t-shirt. "Ed does not like it when you grab Ed like that."

"Listen weíre on a strange new universe and you seem to know a lot about it. I want to know everything you got or Iíll snap you neck like a twig," Faye yelled.

Ed pouted. "No need to get violent, Ed will fix everything. Being mean makes you get old."

Faye dropped Ed. "You think so?" she asked.

"Edís nice all the time and she looks so young."

"Thatís true," Faye remarked. "Well whatever, I need you to get around here. But you need to act more feminine."

"Oh?" Ed asked as she looked down herself. "Ed doesnít see a problem."

"Of course you donít," Faye said sarcastically. "At least one thing will come out of it. I can make you over then maybe some day youíll actually go on a date without paying for it."

Ed narrowed her eyes then smiled. "Ed doesnít need to date and if she did she could if she wanted to."

"I see I struck a nerve," Faye replied as she looked around. "This doesnít look like Earth. No offense but itís too pretty."

"None taken," she remarked. "Letís go eat, but firstÖ" She handed a Faye a small ID card and papers.

"Whatís this?" she asked. The vein on her forehead throbbed as she read the paper. She popped Ed on the head. "I am not your grandmother."

"Ow, that hurt!" Ed exclaimed as she held her head. She handed Faye the real ID she made seeing that the joke did not go over well.

"Your sister?" Faye asked.

Ed looked down shyly. "Edís relatives are all gone since Ed was very small."

Faye sighed. "I hate you for being so sweet sometimes," she replied as she took Edís hand. "Letís go shopping or something. Iím assuming you got us some money since you got us these fake IDs."

"Yeah lots," Ed said as her stomach started to grumble.

"First we get you some clothes. If I am your big sister you need to look more part."

"Then we eat?" Ed asked.

"Yeah sure," she answered as she pulled Ed along as though she knew where they were going.

***

"Someoneís been accessing information about us," Heero commented simply as he sat down at the table and started eating a sandwich.

"What kind of information?" Trowa asked as he looked up from the book he was reading.

"Mostly personal information about us. Information from before we were gundam pilots, thatís what concerns me."

"You think it could be left over Rommerfeller sympathizers?" Duo asked as he sat up. He really didnĎt like the idea of someone digging into his past.

"Itís not their style. This is someone who might want to get in our heads," Wufei replied. "It would be wise to be wary of strange people."

"I agree with Wufei," Trowa remarked.

"Do you know who this guy is?" Duo asked. "We need to get him before he gets us."

"Someone with the screen name ĎRadical Edward.í I couldnít tell where he was accessing from but I do know that he got our passport information to come here. So he knows where we are."

Duo stood and slapped his hands on the table. "We need to Quatre as soon as he gets back and let him know the situation. Where did he go anyway?"

Trowa looked up casually. "He went to get a gift for Mel, her birthday is tomorrow."

"We might to leave as soon as possible," Duo said.

"I have no intention of leaving. This ĎRadical Edwardí is not going terrorize me and have me fleeing like some scared woman," Wufei replied. "If he comes then let him face me like a manÖ"

"Iím back," Quatre called from the foyer, "and we have guests."

The pilots walked out of the dining room to greet their friend and update him on the latest information. All of their eyes widened in shock as they saw the oddest-looking characters with Quatre. "This is Faye Valentine andÖ"

"Edward Wong Pelu Tivrusky the fourth. Ed made that up."

An eyebrow arched in weird curiosity was seen by all except for Quatre and Faye. "But arenít you a girl?" Trowa asked

"What kind of name is that?" Duo broke in before she could answer.

"Itís a wonderful name," Ed replied as she twirled around. "Ed canít remember her real name so Ed made up this one."

"You might want to start labeling your shorts," Duo said lowly to Heero who rolled his eyes in response.

"Why do you talk in third person?" Wufei asked in utter annoyance. "What about you, Faye is it? Why are you dressed like some trollop?"

Faye balled her visit "Iíll have you know this is the latest in fashion!"

"Why I donít I get our guests settled and weíll talk more later," Quatre interrupted.

"Wait a minute the guy who was hacking into our files was named Edward, is that you?" Heero asked.

"Ed surfs everywhere and knows many things. Thatís why Bebop dropped Faye and Ed through wormhole, very exciting," she answered. She ran in a circle around the astounded pilots and looked at Duo. "Got you last," she remarked as she tagged him.

Duo looked stunned for a minute then smiled. "A challenge is it? A girl after my own heart."

Ed smiled and followed Quatre up the stairs.

"That was a total twilight zone trip," Duo said as he went back into the kitchen. "The kidís cute though."

"Are we the only ones that see a problem with this?" Heero asked.

"If Quatre brought them here he didnít see them as threat," Trowa answered. "Weíll keep a close watch on them and if warranted eliminate them."

"Just what this house needsÖwomen," Wufei scoffed as he went outside.

"Hmm." Heero looked up the stairs he would definitely be keeping an eye on them.